- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by Raindays.
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20th December 2019 at 10:56 am #93921RaindaysParticipant
Well I feel really low today, feel like I’m banging my head against a wall trying to explain to him how I feel. I seem to take 2 steps forward and 4 back.
All I ever get when I say I’m unhappy is “I’ll change” or “I’m trying” but this just isn’t any good anymore. So now he is making me feel like the bad one and is painting the house, something I wanted done months ago not now, but am I suppose to just be grateful???
am I just meant to put up and shut up like I always have.
I’m so worn down Iv lost track of what I was doing and I just do not get the operation that to call woman’s aid. I confronted him about how I feel when he tried to make me have sex the other night I said I can’t bare you been near me and I just think of all the bad things you have done over the years all the blaming me for been with people, I feel like I can’t do anything and trapped. His reply I’m grieving as I lost (detail removed by moderator) people this year, and yes that is true but it is only making me realise more I don’t want this life! So his reply I’ll leave and get someone else. So why is that his first thought? Am I so replaceable?
All I’m thinking off is being on my own!?
What I don’t get is I say all this and he continues to act normal and just think that he is finally doing a few things around the house I should’ be happy,
He can see I’m miserable! Yet he doesn’t leave and give me space I need.
I just can’t cope with him constantly there and feel like running away 🙁 x*x -
20th December 2019 at 12:10 pm #93924AnonymousInactive
Would it be a bad thing for him to leave you for someone else? I feel sorry for my ex’s new wife, but I’ve warned her and that is all I can do. It does mean that I am free to try and build myself back up.
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20th December 2019 at 12:51 pm #93927RaindaysParticipant
Yeah that is true 😩 x*x
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20th December 2019 at 2:13 pm #93930EscapeeParticipant
Hi Rainydays,
You sound like you’re feeling how I did before I left. I was desperate to just walk out the door and just keep walking, I didn’t care about belongings, having a roof over my head….. nothing, I just needed to be free. I too tried to talk things through but it’d all just get twisted and he put it all down to me loosing my sanity. I knew he wouldn’t have the b*lls to go so I drew myself up, sorted out my life and left.
You sound like you’re at that stage where there is no going back, no being able to pretend it’ll all be okay. Let him go sweetheart, it’ll mean you can stay in your home. And if he does find another woman to torture, just thank the heavens that it’s no longer you – remember all the awful things he put you through and say to yourself “that’s no longer me. No more…….” – that helps me.
Sending you love, hugs and strength x*x
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20th December 2019 at 5:50 pm #93946HettyParticipant
Yes sadly the painting of the house is an act to keep you hooked and you can be sure he’ll throw it all back at you when he’s giving his case about how perfect he is, how you’re ungrateful blah blah blah. Been there, done that.
I’m like you. I can’t bear my husband. I want nothing more than to walk and never have to see him again or deal with his drama but I have a son (not my husband’s child) and I need to get things sorted first. I’m going through the options of where I can live etc. It’s a horrible horrible situation to be in. I keep telling myself I’m just exploring options so that I don’t get overwhelmed. I know I’ll leave I just don’t know when yet. I don’t want this life. I hate going home. I feel completely bleak and dead inside. All I do is go through the motions.
Of course he won’t leave. If you feel anything like me I’d love nothing more that for my husband to replace me and let me leave but he’s too concerned about money x -
20th December 2019 at 5:52 pm #93948HettyParticipant
Ps don’t bother telling him how you feel. Totally pointless. Save your energy for some head space to think about what you want from life x
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20th December 2019 at 6:10 pm #93951RaindaysParticipant
It is pointless he is completely disregarding what I’m saying and seems to continue to think he can just say he will change or do some stuff in house and then today say are u ok and I say no and he said why what’s wrong with you now… we’ll the same as what was wrong the other day it hasn’t gone away it’s still there! Just because I’m grieving does not mean I’ll get over the abuse when I stop grieving, I just used to tolerate it more and now I can’t, I told him I can’t I’ couldn’t stand site of him! He still stays!
I know it’s a waste of time my feeling obviously count for nothing or something. I’m just meant to continue to put up with him in the hopes he may change. Even though I’m this unhappy 😞🙄🙈 x*x -
20th December 2019 at 7:50 pm #93961HettyParticipant
They don’t change. You don’t have to live like this. Have you thought about leaving? I know it’s hard with kids. I’m in the same position. I’ve been slowly making plans since October. It’s really hard while I’m still living with him but I’m just making small steps, one day at a time. We only have one precious life x
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20th December 2019 at 9:04 pm #93968RaindaysParticipant
Yes I really have, I wanted to up and leave and all I could think off is how do I take (detail removed by moderator) children and all their Xmas gifts! I also work from home so I would have to quit work too 🤦♀️ My eldest are (detail removed by moderator) so they would probably not want to leave their house and ask so many questions, it’s just the fact I’m so unhappy I can’t go on like this x*x
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