A day with strength

[new survivor]

Today I realised that I had something. I had strength. I left my husband (detail removed by Moderator) months ago and have been letting him get to me.

However today I do not know where it came from but I found some strength to stand up to him for the first time and to try and take control of the situation.

He has been messing about with the sale of the house saying he wanted it no he did not. It has been agreed that the house will go on the market and have agreed who the sale is going to be with. To day after waiting (detail removed by Moderator) and him saying that he is sorting it I phoned and told him to get it sorted out and within minutes the agent was on the phone to ask me for permission.

I have also been asking to be taken off the council tax as have not been living at the property. He said that he had spoken to them and was waiting for it to be sorted out and that he was waiting for me to sign the paperwork. However when I spoke to them he had not even been in touch with them let alone try to sort it out and within minutes I had been taken off and a refund put into the account. He had not done anything at all or even tried. It was all just another one of his mind games and his way of keeping control.

His newest one now is that he is refusing to sign (detail removed by Moderator) as he said that he has not agreed to it which he has done and he agreed to the terms which have been set out. He wants to now go for my pension and with the career that I am I have a large sum in my pension pot where he has nothing. His Mum has told him to go for all my money and to go through mediation so that I will have to give up my money. This is not what has been agreed and he keeps changing the goal posts.

However today was the first time I have not got cross or upset when I have spoken to him which I see as a success and feel that I am getting a bit of strength in me. Today was a good day and was the first one that I have had in a long time. I know that there will be ups and downs but wanted to share on here today what I had managed and that I am proud that I stood up to him and did not crumble even when he was swearing at me and trying to manipulate me to blame me for everything.

Thank You for listening to me and reading this post

x*x

[Serenity]

You are so strong. Well done!

It takes a lot to stand up to them and to steel our emotions so that we don’t get do affected. This proves how strong you are.

My DV worker told me to think in terms of ’emotions are your enemy’ when dealing with your abuser- especially during the dovirce process.

You will see it through. There’s freedom in the other side!

[Confused123]

hey hun

So glad to hear u getting stronger, yes soemtimes taking thne control of them is what p*sses them off, think of it as a day closer to your next goal

[Ayanna]

Hi, new survivor, this is so great to read!
The ex abuser too wanted my pension and he also wanted me to pay him maintenance for the rest of his life.
He did not succeed.
Keep standing up to him.
If he does not adhere to agreements this will all go against him in the divorce.

[Author]

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