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I’ve posted a fair bit about moving on, packing up and moving away and earlier this year I did just that.
its been hard, there’s been some sad days but there are now many outstanding days. Now some seasons have passed, I have taken some time out over the weekend to explore my new area which I love and it is spectacular. Inner peace is strong. I’m about to buy some career coaching and refocus on my career which was always shining and moving forward but which has stalled for a few years. Feeling ready to shift focus back there and shed the lbs I hadn’t really realised I was gaining until I’ve woken up and started looking at myself again.
all part of the journey. It’s so worth it ladies. It’s daunting and feels impossible but when you’re all packed and driving to your next destination and nobody knows your address… the feeling is indescribable!!
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I am there now.
Sitting in a new place. Very few possessions. Empty flat. Just me myself and I.
Oh my word the onslaught of emotions. The regret. The sadness. The thinking of the good times. Thinking of the bad times. Missing him even though a short while ago I was dreading that door opening and the atmosphere. Its all so mixed up, in my mind still.
It doesn’t feel quite real. I understand why people go back but I don’t want that to be me again.
I didn’t really think Id miss him much but here I am worrying if he’s OK. I guess you can’t just turn it off eh.
I’m pleased your curve is on an upwards trend now 🙂 its nice to have some good news! X
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Well done you 🙂
I was the same. The day I booted him out I wanted him back so badly. The mind plays tricks on you and that pull is strong. I didn’t think I’d miss him at all given it ended with third party intervention.
It helped me to focus on the most difficult days and remember why it has to be this way. The shouting, the stealing, the manipulative behaviours and worse.took me a few months to get through that phase.
congratulations on your new place and enjoy setting it up just the way you like it and the peace 🙂 x -
Really glad to hear about how you are doing HappyBelle. I think I’ve always been a few months later than you in terms of the leaving, so it’s great to hear that this journey does have a really happy end in sight!
Not that I’m unhappy, in fact I’m feeling pretty good most of the time, and, like you, have some pretty lovely memories already from the last few months, but I still feel like there’s something holding me. Still feel like I can disappear down a rabbit hole of anxiety and uncomfortable feelings just when I’m not expecting it.
I’m trying to focus on my career too. Honestly feel like that’s the path to contentment for me. Mine was stalled for decades though, so it’s slightly daunting!
Any tips on what you think really helped you to get through this?
Sending ❤️
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Things that have got me (and are getting me!) through is family, friends and being out in nature with my pets. I’ve been lucky to move closer to them and near the coast so there’s lots of opportunity there.
I’ve spent a few months just accepting I’ve not been and am not feeling my normal self but bit by bit things are coming back. I’ve allowed myself time to feel this way, to feel bad, to know I need help and to let people help me. Let the spontaneous tears from nowhere come and then wipe them off and get on with the day :).From the end of the relationship to where I am now has been many months. More than a year for sure.
im now ready to dust off the cv and get job hunting. He financially took a lot from me and I’ve got a 5-8 year plan to get back on track and it starts with getting the career back on track :).
Everyone is different and I hope you feel good faster becasue it feels like it’s taking forever 😂😂 but I’m fine with that if it’s what my brain and body needs.
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Yes I left several months later than you so it’s still some way off a year for me. It does feel like it’s taking ages! But I think what you say about just having to accept that we’re not our normal selves for a while, is spot on for me too. Just be kind and understanding to ourselves for what we’ve been through. When things start to get problematic for me is when I start tensing up around what myself and my life ‘should’ be like. How recovered i ‘should’ be by now. How I ‘should’ be feeling or reacting.
These things take a while to be processed and integrated into our bodies and minds and it feels to me like it just can’t be rushed.I love your idea of a 5-8 year plan, that’s a great idea. Xx
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