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Since moving in with my boyfriend.. slowly things have been becoming more and more of a struggle. I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel trapped. Everyday there is a situation with him he will choose anything he can to create a situation and there is no real reason to the situation. It’s like he loves seeing me upset. I feel so run down and confused he manipulates my mind into thinking it’s me and he’s an angel even though seconds before he’s degrading me, calling me names, pushing me, making me feel worthless and talking bad about my family. I am stuck in a rut of putting up with random out bursts and going back to him after feeling like it’s nothing and I might as well go back to him and get on with our lives. But when there is a situation I hate him it reminds me of how much of a twister he is and wanting to get out of this relationship but then somehow diverting my mind into thinking I am overreacting and it’s all me and going back to him, but then it happens again and I kick myself for acting like everything was ok last time. I can’t do this anymore. Why is this happening to me. I just want to be happy and feel like myself again. I wake up everyday feeling numb. Second night in the spare bed tonight. Why can’t he just see that it’s wearing me down. He says I don’t love him and that I’m not approachable and it’s all me that’s causing this relationship to fail but why can’t he see that he’s pushing me away. The last thing I want to do is wake up to another outburst. My mind is so muddled I just don’t know anymore. I try so hard to avoid any situation but it just keeps happening. Why is this not working. I just don’t know what to do.
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Things will never be enough for him because he will simply change the goal posts. He likes abusing you. It makes him feel good. Keeping you down, leaving you confused and chasing your tail while he thrives. Give the national domestic abuse helpline a call and contact your local women’s aid. He chooses to behave this way.he knows exactly what he’s doing. Read Loving with the Dominator. Do you have somewhere you can go to get away for a break from his abuse.
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I read this book and i could compare him to a lot of the book! I have my mums house but it’s hard with the current situation. I just don’t understand why he is acting like this what does he want from me. He calls my mum up to get her involved and tells me how horrible she is. When will it be enough for him to change.
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the thing is this is a mind set its their belief systems. so they dont ever change unless they go on a perpetrator program for 6 months to a year.even then its not guranteed to change there unhealthy entitled mind set. its hard giving up on a relationship and some we hoped would give us so much more joy. your recognising this in him. my ex was a bully and used degradation to keep me in my place. he drew other people in too and destroyed quite a few relationships of mine. this is to of course isolate us so they get the upper hand. it is doable getting away from these men but with lots of help and back up. when theres control from one side it just dosent ever result in happyness. there is a happy life out there for you minus him tho xxxx
love diymum
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