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    • #177081
      Appletango03
      Participant

      I hate to find myself here, on this forum, in this position. Something i  never believed would happen to me.

      I know its a familiar story for all of us, but the reality of my abuse is getting clearer by the day.

      (number removed by Moderator) year realtionship and the Verbal abuse has been there for a long time and very consistent. The physical abuse has always been much more intermittent which why i probably found it easier to ignore. Untill recently.

      My abuser has turned a male friend into some (number removed by Moderator) year long love affair who i suddenly love and meet up with and eveything else (all false but he’s convinced  himself)  The physical violence has escalated, to a minimum of once weekly sometimes more. I cant say a single thing on the topic, i almost have to comply with his version just so i dont set him off.

      (date removed by Moderator) was a new first were i suffered a Panic attack. Ive never had one before and i just couldnt breathe. I was safe, my abuser wasnt around but the mere thought of everything im going through started it. Feeling hopeless like i cant get out of this cycle.

      Im at the point i want to leave as i’ve accepted theres no changing. hes hit me throughout pregnancy etc and ive had enough my whole being and soul is giving up.

      Im just trying to find the courage to report him to the police at the moment, as he doesnt fear the police so im scared of the backlash ill get there but that initial leap is so scary. Anyway, i just needed to write this out loud to others who understand.
      Thanks for listening 🤍

    • #177085
      Cherries
      Participant

      I never dared report to the police. He said to me once if I did they would only hold him so long and then he was coming for me. I believed him.

      Looking back I really wish I had. He got away scot free and few believed me.

      You dont say what your living situation is, but if you haven’t already it might be worth speaking with womens aid or the DA hub at your local council if there is one. They helped me with housing and gave me some great advice x

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