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Why do they continue to make things hard even after separation. He has taken out credit in my name and apparently because he is paying the bill I can do nothing about it. Last week it was something else – the week before something else. I mean you get the picture. I am so desperate to move on and these things don’t help. I still miss him intensely I don’t know what stops me reaching back out to him but something does as I know its the best thing but how do I stop all these things he does from getting to me they send me into a spiral and its horrible. I am scared as to what he might do next which is a pattern from our relationship. bur ultimately I miss him and want to go back to how it was before he left….
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He’s doing it to make you go back lovely. By reminding you he exists you’ll never break that trauma bond and the chance of you giving in to the craving of seeing him is so much higher. You’re also still providing a supply to him and it’s so much easier for him to manipulate you returning than it is finding a new supply right now. He knows you miss him and will one day cave. He’s chipping away at your reserve, stay strong.
When you say you can’t do anything about him taking credit out in your name because he’s paying the debt that’s wrong, very wrong. Firstly, using your details without your permission is fraud, secondly if he stops paying you’ll be liable for the debt. If you aren’t receiving the correspondence about this debt then you might not know if he stops paying and one day discover a CCJ against you. If I was you I’d be contacting the company the debt is with asap and advising them of the situation, I’d also ask what checks they completed as either they’ve breached GDPR or he’s possibly got copies of your ID documents and is using them fraudulently. These plate cruel, remember that on the bad days, if he loved you he wouldn’t be using you xx
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He is in another (happy) relationship and has been for a considerable time. We have had no contact for around half of that time. He was suing us both at the same time she was not the first. I know time details will be taken out. We do have children but he doesn’t really see them. He is also stalling on the divorce and financial stuff. I know its to get a reaction but I won’t do it as much as I want to I won’t let him control me again. Well that’s how I feel right now. I spoke to our local DV charity as I know I was feeling vulnerable.
They are aware but says I will be liable and they will send around debt collectors… It was an exciting account which he accessed and extended in (detail removed by Moderator).
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Hi Wispatea,
Surviving Economic Abuse offer specialist advice around financial abuse like you’re experiencing here. You might find some useful information and tools on their website. They also have a Financial Support Line run in partnership with Money Advice Plus where you could access some free, impartial advice about your situation (0808 1968845 Mon-Fri, 9am-1pm and 2pm-5pm).
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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