- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 11 months ago by
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After a good long fight it’s not been enough access is getting started again (detail removed by moderator). he’s never been a good parent to my wee girls. It’s a staged access and supervised by his parents who I have no communication with, so a communication diary will go with my daughter. I cried all the way home from work, if I had my way he would never see her again. For months she has been thriving and gaining weight and now she is distressed again. Also I’ve had months of peace and now I know he’s back in her life he’s back in mine. Which I hate. I hate him and everything he has done to us. I hope he messes up and I can stop access again and take it to court. Obviously if he turns a corner, then that’s good but he won’t and I know he won’t. Am angry tonight about the system and everything to do with domestic abuse and keeping your child safe. Sorry but I had to rant somewhere, I just can’t belivw this starts! (detail removed by moderator) 😡
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I cannot imagine how terrible it must be to have to let your children go to an abusive man as ive never been in that position, its ridiculous to let a man who has been abusive and upset the children to have access, I think the only contact these men should have is in a childrens centre where the children at in a safe place and not alone with them.
I think if the children at old enough to decide they should be allowed to not see the parent if they don’t want to, these men lose their rights as dads when thy abuse their mom or them as far as I’m concerned
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Thanks for the response Godschild,
Unfortunately he used my daughter as a pawn to further abuse me, emotional not physical and I’ve put up such a fight that has costs thousands. In the end fathers rights win (well at the moment. There is no proper help out there, social work won’t get involved in access. I’ve went to every advisory authority I could do and in the end he gets access. Please don’t anyone think at the start I didn’t, he had every second weekend overnight and two nights during the week for dinner. He ruined it all…. it’s shocking really -
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Sunshine, I’m really really sorry to hear this. It must be extremely frustrating and upsetting for you. Will SS not do supervised contact in a neutral place? At least if there is a social worker there then if he slips up and is horrible to your kids then SS will see it and can’t ignore it. I’ve no idea if how/if things have changed but my own father was abusive towards me and my mum. She went to court more times than I can remember but he was always granted access to me. At first it was in a contact centre and then when I was older it was in a cafe or park somewhere public and a social worker had to be present. My mum kept fighting and when I was old enough they finally listened to me when I said I didn’t want to see him. It was a long journey but we got there in the end. I’m hoping your journey is not so long and that he slips up and shows his true colours for everyone to see! I had to see my dad once every two weeks, I used to cry and feel sick the day before because I knew what was happening the next day. My mum used to take me out for a treat or sit in with a takeaway and my favourite film afterwards to cheer me up and so I always had something to look forward to to get me through it. Sending strength! X
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Sunshine sorry, I’ve just read the part when you said SS will not get involved in contact. I’m so sorry 🙁 is there anyway that the court will allow someone else to supervise the access? A family friend maybe? Someone that your children know and feel safe with? There were a few times when our family friends would do the supervised the contact but that was a bit later on down the line. sorry if you’ve asked all these things already! Xx
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