Accidentally hurt him and he jabbed me in the arm

[MeOnScreen]

Hi all

previously was in an abusive relationship which I didn’t even realise was an abusive relationship until I googled some words of his treatment and behaviours and women aid came up and you all helped me so much.

That was close to (number removed by Moderator) years ago now. I’ve been in a very happy (number removed by Moderator) year relationship and he can be quite moody at times (suppose we all can be) but never abusive.

(timeframe removed by Moderator) he asked me to help him as (detail of incident removed by Moderator). He said “ow” and tbh it didn’t even register. Then he turned around and punched me in the arm. It didn’t seem like he meant to do it hard, more of a jab really. But he looked so angry when he did it and it did hurt (not enough to cause a bruise or anything and it wasn’t hurting even a couple of minutes later) but I’m really shocked and don’t know what to do. This happened in a busy (location removed by Moderator) and no one even noticed so wasn’t like a big scene or anything.

He’s apologised and said he’s going to talk to someone and get help because he’s upset at himself. But I can’t shake what he’s done and it’s really upset me. Think it’s more of a shock than anything.

I suppose I’m just looking for advice on whether I’m overreacting or not? I’m just panicking this is the start of something abusive.

[minimeerkat]

one of the most important things i have learnt (i am having trauma counselling) is that no matter how big or small or what anyone else thinks – its how something makes you yourself feel that matters.  and usually our body lets us know (our reaction) when we havent felt ‘safe’ (emotionally/physically)

you have obviously very suddenly seen a look & behaviour from someone you have loved & trusted so it is only natural that this shocked you – it wasnt something you ever expected.  when helping your partner what you did wasnt intentional at all so his reaction was not ok x

[Author]

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