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What I have learned about myself since leaving abusive husband (obviously he still tries to abuse wherever he can at this stage which i cannot go into but me/children are safe from him).
1. I didn’t realise that I was incapable of making everyday decisions as that was taken away from me for decades. I found it scary getting to know myself as the women I am now..I thought I woukd go bsvk go being the woman inwas before I met him… no, I have done lots of work and have learned so much.
2. I did feel stronger, I do see red flags, warning signs or I notice peoples behavior more…but, I got into another relationship a friend I had known for some years, I have noticed on this forum that I am not alone having fallen for a friend…anyway, the relationship turned toxic, I recognised some but mainly I followed my instinct and stood back. I asked them to leave me alone and I am sticking to that.
3. I am stronger than I thought… I was Mentally, physically ill towards the end of our marriage.. I looked ill, was always in and out of hospital, constant headaches, vomiting… I don’t suffer from.this now. I started to feel ill when I got with a friend, so glad I stopped.
4. The system isn’t fair however there is lots of support, never stop asking and I am not ashamed. I used foodbanks, Citizens Advice, let the police know everytime he contacted Me even if he wasn’t breaking the law (at that pont anyway) I still wanted to show the pattern. That also helped my sanity.
5. I couldn’t and still do not want to press SA charges. I have had the interview, all information is there however I could not take that on as well at the moment.
At times this forum and you amazing women have been my only life line regarding abuse. I feel like friends are bored of it, so I have now distanced myself from those friends, not fallen out I just see hiw one sided those friendships had become since I am no longer with my ex…and I can live with that as that’s a them problem and not a me problem. Again my anxiety lessened.
My journey isn’t over with him yet but I can do this, I can do it and we will be OK. We are safe, my children are safe and are growing into their own characters now thry are no longer suppressing their characters to keep f*****t father appeased… also have you noticed a lot of these men are ‘amazing’ when children are babies/toddlers but as soon as the children grow up.and start to show.their personality that the father doesn’t like it…abuse is sick
Big hugs and thank you all for your support and strength.
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Ahhhh @hereforhelp you have been and continue to be a huge source of support and help for me.
This is an incredable post.
You are an incredable woman.
Be proud.
I hope with all my heart that one day you will find peace. Xxxx -
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I’m glad you are safe and your children are too @hereforhelp
It is hard as it feels like friends begin to drop away or at least maybe think you are “Okay” ( whatever that means anyway) …. I’m glad you have support and are feeling stronger physically and mentally but this is exhausting stuff for sure..
g x
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