- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 2 days ago by
Sad and alone.
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10th July 2025 at 12:52 pm #176370
Sad and alone
ParticipantCan someone tell me if this sort of behaviour is abuse? I know I am in an abusive relationship but these little things…
Being told my voice is squeaky and childlike, that my hair is too long and I should get it cut, that he is trying to educate me (when discussing say, something that’s on the news), telling me I am on my phone all the time and that it’s the only friend I’ve got, making comments under his breath (like if I was doing a thing in relation to work on my phone he saw me and was saying in a baby voice bestest friends).
He is getting worse more regularly, kicking off about things, trying to instigate conflict. Making accusations. Making me question my own memories. He’ll say things like I just walked off to bed and didn’t say anything and even though it’s the night before I feel like I can’t remember. Even though I’m sure it didn’t happen. Then he’ll accuse me of lying if I say something otherwise.
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13th July 2025 at 8:24 pm #176408
Lisa
Main ModeratorHi Sad and alone,
All of this is part of his abuse. So much criticism over everything, your voice, your looks, what you choose to do with your time, the suggestion that you need him to educate you, it’s all designed to erode your sense of self and make you feel bad. If you changed your voice, cut your hair, spent no time on your phone, he’d make up other things to degrade and belittle you because it’s about giving himself power. Making you question your own memories is gaslighting, which is a type of emotional abuse, as is being antagonistic and making accusations. It can be difficult to get proper perspective on these abusive behaviours when you’re in the middle of it, so I’m glad that you’ve posted to ask. None of what he is doing is healthy, normal behaviour.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
16th July 2025 at 11:29 am #176433
Sad and alone
ParticipantThank you Lisa.
I do recognise when I say something that he knows is true he’ll try and divert the dialogue elsewhere as well. Kind of twisting it so he can carry on criticising. It’s so tiring. I’m tired of being told I’m horrible and nasty all the time. And of bringing up incidents from the past and going on about what I did when I can’t change it even if I recognise that I was wrong.
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