Almost at the end of the fight

[Footballfan1]

Ex has been fighting and contesting everything for ages.
I felt stuck and helpless.
His entire side of the family ghosted me and the children, took his side.
I’ve had my friends and family to talk to, so when I’ve had strangers tell me what they have heard, I just blank them.
No need to explain or defend myself.
It has been a crazy journey, the things that have happened, don’t feel like they should have been happening to me.

There have been multiple court dates, complications with getting the protection I need.
The last court date, I wasn’t expecting anything to move forward.
Suddenly, I’ve been granted everything I’ve been fighting for.
That is it.
No more legal proceedings.
It is done.
I can’t quite believe it.
My solicitor couldn’t quite believe it.

My exs behaviour has been dangerous and erratic.
That ended up going in my favour.
Now it’s the end, I’m so relieved but at the same time, I feel sorry for him.
I hate seeing him in the gutter.
I would hate to see anybody in the gutter.
I have to keep reminding myself that it’s his behaviour that caused it.

Keep going, it takes a long time to get to the other side, but now I’m here, I can say it is 100% worth it.
Xx

[Wants To Help]

Hi Footballfan1,

I remember when you first came on this forum and I have to say you have done amazingly well in your journey of Recovery since then. You also give wonderful advice to others.

From recognising your abusive relationship to knowing you needed to get out of it, to getting out of it, then having all of the ongoing threats, troubles, fears and issues after ending it to now getting to this point is fantastic. Every negative action your ex has given you you have countered it with a positive one, and this continuing positive action has now got you to where you are today 🙂 No matter how hard it has been for you, you never let him grind you down (I know he probably did but you didn’t let him see that he did!)

You appear to have done everything asked of you by the professionals, you sought advice, you took it, you called the police when things got too out of control for you to handle (which is the point when most of us call the police) and you stood your ground and saw it through. In times of despair and adversity you held your head high and did what you had to do in order to get to where you are now. I know how hard this has been for you. Never underestimate yourself and what you are capable of. Your journey is a fantastic inspiration to many of the ladies on here who will read it. I admire how you have coped and managed.

I wish you every happiness for you and your children going forward.

xx

[Footballfan1]

Thank you so much Hereforhelp,

You have made me cry literally with your kind words.
We have more strength in us than we realise, and we are incredibly brave.
That is why they grind us down and attack us, they feel threatened by our strength.
They lash out and hurt us, at times we are frustrated with the lack of protection and action from authorities.
I believe if we keep moving small steps forward, the abuser eventually sets themselves up to fail.
Every single one of us can get the future we deserve, full of joy and happiness.
Take care xx

[Twix]

I am so happy to read this!!! You deserve everything to go your way with what you’ve been through & I hope you can finally start to move forward with your life. You’ve been so supportive to me & I’m inspired by your grit & determination to push through. Embrace the power you hold over your decisions & know that you’re stronger for both yourself & your children having gone through this. I hope you get a chance to celebrate this weekend!

[Footballfan1]

Thank you Twix,
Your words mean a lot.
You have been a great support to me too.
I remember reading your first post on here and I was gobsmacked how identical our lives had been.
It helped me understand the abusers psychology a lot more and got me researching it.

I can’t wait to finish work and spend quality time with the kids, we can do anything they want.
Xx

[Chocolatebunnie]

I have read many of your posts. This is so great to hear, and so glad you’ve got to where you are.

You definitely deserve this, inspirational is what you are.

CB X

[Footballfan1]

Thankyou so much Chocolatebunnie,

That means a lot.
I’m not inspirational, I’ve been extremely lucky to have such an amazing support network.
My family, friends, everyone on this forum have kept me sane and focused.
I’d have been a wreck if it wasn’t for this forum.
I hate seeing all the ladies on here suffering, it really kills me inside.
Xx

[Twisted Sister]

oh Fottballfan1 this is the best news ever! How awesome that you have got all that you fought so very hard for.

Anyone who’s been through this understands how tough that battle is and difficult to achieve what you need for protection.

I am thrilled for you, take the credit for you, hold your head high and walk forwards, no need to look behind, thats done, and you fought the battle you needed to keep you all safe. Its heartening to hear that justice can be done, and these abusers finally get the consequences for all the criminal acts against us, that is justice, the guilt and the shame is theirs alone, you asked for none of it, try not to spill too much energy for his cause, remember how many chances he had to make this right, and didn’t, but made it worse.

Enjoy and revel in your freedoms. All the best to you and your children for your full recoveries.

warmest wishes

ts

[Footballfan1]

Thank you TwistedSister,

Your words meant a lot.
You have helped me and given me great advice when I’ve been at my lowest.
Thank you for all your support xx

[nbumblebee]

Oh wow You have been so brave so determined so inspirational Im so chuffed you are at the end of a horrendous journey.
You should be so proud of yourself you really should to recognise the abuse to admit to it to face it then to fight back and win well I have no words you just amaze me.
I wanna cry shout laugh and hug you all at the same time.
Now go out there with your head high and live go live an amazing life because you sweetie so deserve it.
Recover,heal and Live. 🩷
Look after yourself always xxxx

[Footballfan1]

Thank you Nbumblebee,
Your words touch me.
I just want to reach you and pull you out of your nightmare, I truly do.
You have been so kind and patient with me, you endure so much pain yet have the empathy to reach out to us all who suffer on this forum.
You are truly a lady who kind, patient and full of empthathy xx

[nbumblebee]

Wow not sure what to say youve taken my breath away with such kind words. Thank you.
Just you go out there sweetie and b****y live it large 🤣🩷🩷

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