Almost ruined my current relationship

[Losingbattle]

What a crazy few days. I’ve always suffered with anxiety but today it hit differently. I’ve been overthinking and getting thoughts in my head of negativity and bad things that could happen. This put into messages with my current partner while he’s at work. I was overwhelming. We live quite a way from each other so he messaged saying (removed by moderator). I freaked out and drove the long drive to his. We spoke, he was shocked that I’d turned up but my anxiety got the better of me. Luckily he understood and we’re still together. But the fear, the thought that he was just going to hurt me the same. I know I should have let him have the space but I felt crazy. I think I need professional advice. I love my partner and seeing him smile at the end of our talk really calmed me but I don’t want it to get to this again

[Lisa]

Hi Losingbattle,

I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with such anxiety in your relationship. You mentioned perhaps getting professional support around this, and it sounds like a good idea.

You can always talk how you are feeling through with your local domestic abuse service. They will understand and be able to provide both emotional and practical help if needed.

You could try calling Supportline who offer confidential emotional support to reach people before they get to “crisis” point. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200.

The Freedom Programme is an 11- or 12-week rolling programme which provides information about male violence to women. This programme identifies the tactics abusers use, the beliefs held by abusers, and the effects that domestic abuse can have on women and children. The Freedom Programme is for women who have experience of domestic abuse, be it in their personal or professional lives. You can start the programme at any time, and you can attend as many or as few sessions as you choose. Each session is entirely confidential, and you can contribute as much, or as little, of your own thoughts and experiences as you like. Many women find this a very useful support group as it is available to women whether they are experiencing current or past abuse. The Freedom Programme is run in many locations across the UK.

Your mental health can be impacted by domestic abuse and often survivors find themselves struggling with their mental health after such experiences. There is a guidance created by Women’s Aid in partnership with Mind and SARSAS that provides information and includes some helpful self-care techniques from other survivors, as well as links to free support resources. You can access the guidance here.

I hope this is useful. Keep posting, as other women here I’m sure can relate to how you are feeling.

All the best,

Lisa

[Author]

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