Am I being abused?

[Hellohellohello111]

We have been in a relationship for (detail removed by moderator) and it used to be physical but I am not sure if I have been emotionally abused for the past (detail removed by moderator). He always asks me for money for cannabis and will not take no for an answer and I say yes just to stop him asking. He says he will pay the money back but doesnt. He threatens to call the police on me and he has told them I am violent towards him and I am not. He has even gone to the neighbours who he is friends with and said they will be a witness. He has also gone round to all the neighbours to belittle me and disclose confidential information about me which is very sensitive. He is an alcholic and always demands for me to buy his alcohol and if I say no he will be aggressive. I would have to buy the alcohol every morning before work and I would also have to go to the shop after work to buy it. He is going round telling everyone that I am mental as I have finally spoken up about his behaviour he is now saying I am hearing voices. He says can I have sex and when I say no he gets in a strop then says I am going to get an escort. He shouts down the phone when I am on the phone to my manager when I am working from home and when I had a zoom meeting, he would appear in the background. I am constantly being threatened and blackmailed and I have tried to leave so many times but I am scared as everytime I do this his behaviour gets worse. Is this abuse or am I being paranoid?

[Lisa]

Hi Hellohellohello111

I just wanted to show you some support. I am sorry to hear about your situation.

Yes this is emotional abuse. Your partner is also very controlling, financially and sexually abusive. It is not ok for him to keep asking and taking your money. It is also not ok for him to pressure you into having sex, even if you give in to this, this is not consent.

I am concerned for your safety especially as he has been physically violent in the past. Please contact your local domestic violence service for support https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ or you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Take care and please keep posting

Lisa

[Author]

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