Am I deluded

[True2myself]

Hey everyone. Husband is on bail. He doesn’t know I’m leaving after (detail removed by Moderator). He isn’t allowed near us. So my family are going mental and it’s stressing me out. They keep calling or coming in and brainwashing me so I don’t take him back. I don’t hate him but I also don’t wanna be with him. So my question I guess is, in ideal world I’d like for us to be apart but still be able to talk about kids without the drama. Am I deluded… Be honest

[Hetty]

In my experience there’s no way of avoiding drama with these men. Even years down the line when they’re with another partner. I’m years and years down the line with my child’s dad and still he creates problems. Firm boundaries and minimal contact. Give them an inch and they take a mile every single time. Co parenting was impossible for me. He always said no to things I said yes to and vice versa, used times I tried to talk to call me names etc. Think through any future contact regarding the children and get legal advice x

[True2myself]

It’s so annoying, why can’t they just be good. It’s very stressful already, he wants everything his way and I have to do the running and I’m starting to do that just to keep peace

[Sleepypigeon]

I think we all hope and wish they would be good or normal but sadly that will never be. I’m years down the line with my child’s dad. Still he tries and occasionally succeed in getting to me. He has another partner but this has no bearing on how he is. Minimal contact and show as little emotion as possible which I no is extremely difficult when u try to appear “on good terms” for the child. He outwardly praises me as a fantastic mother but at the same time accuses me of withholding information from him.
I fell for similar bulls**t with recent ex. Happily no child involved this time except my own.

[Hetty]

Same for me.so thankful this time around there are no children involved. X

[KIP.]

Absolutely zero contact. You cannot ever do parent with an abusers. They simply don’t want to and any contact with you will be toxic. Start as you mean to go on and let a third party communicate over children. I wouldn’t want him anywhere near my children either. He will harm them psychologically and you will have a lifetime of dealing with that too. I’d fight as hard as I could to remove access to the children. He may be allowed supervised access but that is something if the law allows you may have to accept but at least the damage is limited.

[True2myself]

Thank you 🙂

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