Am I the crazy one?

[Stillherebutnotme]

My ex was ok for a few days and is now right back to being difficult about everything. All I asked was what day and times for him to have the kids (timeframe removed by Moderator). He says we already agreed, but we didn’t. I know we didn’t. He’s being so awkward and refusing to tell me because I should know and I picked the contact arrangements, but I didn’t. He chose them. His solicitor sent me a letter with the days and times he wanted and I said OK but he’s completely ignored them and is doing whatever he wants.

But he keeps insisting that it was me and he won’t agree to the times in the letter because he didn’t ask for them.

The kids have been asking to see him (timeframe removed by Moderator). He says he’ll be there in the evening and never shows.

I’ve never felt more like I’m going crazy than right now. Have I been the difficult one all along? Did I agree to something and can’t remember?

I’m having a really bad day and a lot of things that have happened seem to be flooding back into my mind. There’s things I hadn’t thought of since they happened that I can’t stop thinking of. Traumatic things I hadn’t even remembered till now that I can’t stop thinking about.

I honestly don’t know if I’m the crazy one or if he’s found the perfect way to make me think I am. Either way, he’s winning and I have to deal with everything alone.

[swanlake]

It’s good that you have a letter from your ex’s solicitor. It sounds like you have written arrangements to reassure you that your ex did in fact pick the contact times despite his protestations.

I’m sorry that you’re having such a difficult time with repetitive thoughts. It’s awful when they strike isn’t it.

I have anxiety and sometimes ‘forget’ things or have ‘absences’ where I can’t remember what I’ve done like driving a car ‘on autopilot’. It sounds a good idea to try to get things in writing though of course it’s difficult with an uncooperative person who doesn’t want things in writing and wants to blame you regardless.

Today I’ve been busy with family members, lots of self care required for me tonight. Have you heard of wellbeing recovery action plans? They’re more to do with mental health but I’ve found it useful to try with the absences and repetitive distressing thoughts.

[br0kengirl]

Protect yourself as best as you can, take screenshots, recordings of anything you consider to be abusive, even if it seems small. Its the best way to help with those absences and memory lapses caused by manipulators.

[Author]

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