Angry

[orchid7]

I am so angry at everyone close to me. I’m angry at my family who stopped me from doing a non mol. I feel like it was my chance to get validation for what had happened and protection and everyone told me it would just make him angry! Everyone told me it wasn’t worth it. But I was scared and now things have settled I feel like this has all happened and time has past and that’s it. No consequences for his actions at all. Everything he did is just forgotten. Everyone’s living happy and he’s getting on with his life and what happened to me is just nothing. I seem to hate everyone. Everyone close to me I just have so much anger towards. Then I just feel like being reckless. How do I get this over anger x

[Weemebreeze]

Hi Orchid7,

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. The lack of support from those closest to you must be so difficult to process. I can relate so much to what you’ve written – regrettably I didn’t go to the police and now (detail removed by Moderator) down the line he’s “got away with it”, moved on and I’m left still trying to process. We do what we think was right at the time though so please don’t be hard on yourself. I found writing a journal really helped me process some of my anger – getting all my thoughts out onto paper. I also found walking helped to clear my head – 10k steps a day. Good luck and hope things get a bit easier soon x

[Anonymous]

I understand the anger 💯 orchid7, I had soooo much internalised turmoil it was coming out in different self harming kinds of ways, nightmares and the most horrendous thoughts of what I wanted to do to my abusers and anger at the people who should have been there for me yet blamed me and also authorities that let me down, the only way I dealt with it was to face it head on, stop the self harming, get certain people out of my life, work on my personal strength and now do what I can with the knowledge I’ve learned to help others, but I understand your anger and feelings of injustice
💝🧚🏻‍♀️💝

[Anonymous]

When my abusive relationship ended , I was eaten up inside with hurt , I couldn’t get rid of this resentment, bitterness of how I had been treated , I received no apology from my ex and he just seemed to get on with his life which made me feel more angry , I snapped at everyone as I was taking out my anger on them when it should of been him . I guess cos I had kept it inside for so long , that it had to come out , unfortunately it was the wrong people I targeted. I did (detail removed by Moderator) hoping for some justification in how I’d been treated (detail removed by Moderator) . I had an opportunity to literally tell my ex exactly what he had done to me , I’m not advising this , but as soon as I did the weight lifted. I could move on , I found me bottling up for over (detail removed by Moderator) had made me lash out make wrong decisions, I was doing things to punish him for hurting me , but I wasn’t hurting him , I was hurting myself. All I was doing was letting him win . You feel inside you want him to hurt as you did , you want him to suffer like you have , you want him to know what his done , validate what you have been through . Why should he get to live his life and your still struggling. It hurts & it sucks that feeling , turn your anger into strength and say to yourself ok this happened, this is over , I’m focusing on me and how I can move on from this and be happy. I will not let him ruin my life any further. If you have to write a letter to yourself stating how you feel , let all the anger out on paper , then rip it up . Say that’s it ! You don’t need any court or anyone telling you what you went through or validate your feelings , you know what happened, unfortunately too many of these people walk away like my ex without consequences even though we try our best to get justice, sometimes it just don’t happen. So that’s why we gtta live our life and not let them ruin our future .

[orchid7]

Hi all, thank you so much for your replies. It is nice to know I am not alone with this one. I feel like a horrible person for being so angry. It’s such a horrible feeling and its making me uncomfortable in myself. It’s so true that it is really only hurting me the most. I tried some journalling and my god I felt a relief after I finished. My writing turned into to scribbles eventually. It felt good to get it out. I will try and process it as best I can xx thank you xx @beachhut @theduchess @auriel @weemebreeze

[Twisted Sister]

You’re not horrible for feeling anger, like previously said, its normal to go through this part of recovering, and I think it helps to think that your family and friend were trying to do their best for you, and I can tell you that getting a non-mol isn’t always the answer, even if you try for it there’s many times it doesn’t work out the way you hope for.

Its good to try to make friends with your anger, it serves a good purpose and can be used positively to drive you to action. You may be scared of your anger after all that you have been through.

I’m glad the journalling has worked so well for you x

warmest wishes

ts

[Anonymous]

Glad your feeling better hun x

[Grey Rock]

Hiya.
I think it’s understandable that we feel angry, but it gets to the stage where we realise that it’s ruining our own life and want to start healing.

Have you considered signing up for the Freedom Program. It helped me move forward. Yes it brought a lot of feelings to the surface while I was doing it, but it was a bit like having a painful boil lanced. When we live in a toxic environment for so long we can’t help but get a bit suck from it. I definitely needed the poison that it had left me with to come out to get past the fear and rage do I could move on.

Xx

[Author]

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