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Hello ladies .(detail removed by moderator) .We we’re married recently has our 2nd child .His emotional abuse was increasing plus also his drug intake . (detail removed by moderator)I could sense something was wrong with him .In calm way I told him we can not carry on like this I left and went over my now Ex in laws house .Shortly afterwards I had a call from him saying I home you like your new home .When I got back house with his dad my friend plus police he had smashed up our family home .Causing thousands of pounds worth damage .He had gone into everyone room house using hammer smashing mine Boys items up .( all his belongings were left untouched .Smashed TVs ripped up photos broke all of the back house windows .Blew up microwave smashing up all our expensive plates etc .Put a hole in the bath ( I loved having baths ) .Smashed up both our kids bedrooms .Youngest was only few months old so all new items in his bedroom were smashed up .He burnt half my clothes in the garden and smashed all my perfume bottles . He was arrested but couple months later I dropped the charges looking back I was to scared to take things further .I knew things were never going to be same again but after everything that he had done I STILL LOVED him
Crazy looking back .How I managed to get through it must of been on auto pilot carried on sake kids .A couple years later I did go away with him kids for weekend .First day away was perfect 2nd day he completely chdnged into an animal again .Over years I have done freedom programme last year Did course women’s Aid about learning positive behaviour next week again with women’s Aid Im going on a days confidence course .Looking back like all of us been through so much and so wish I knew about this forum years ago .When reading certain posts Ive been through very similar situations . Time is a great healer things now are lot calmer but it’s taken me years to get to this stage .I no longer have contact with my Ex plus he does not see his kids .My life has been all about kids .He has been with many women and has got his current girlfriend pregnant in a matter of weeks of being together .Even to this day he is in my mind everyday regardless what I do .I have written in previous post I feel ready to move on with another man .I think a lot about it but don’t actually do anything about it .I suppose I feel safer that way but sane time don’t want to waste time thinking of the past .At Least today will be a lot calmer safer day than it was X years ago X*x -
He smashed our home up only few days before my birthday .Our youngest child was only few months old .Our oldest child was barely in full time school time .Even to this day I can’t get my head around the pure evilness sorrow heartbreak he put me through .At time I was advised by lot people to move but he kids are currently still living sane house .Ita a completely different home now .Ive made it mine Boys home cosy comfortable chilled home x
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Gosh Bubblegum, you are so strong to have survived such violent, cruel and abusive behaviour from your ex. A testament to your strength and resilience. And you are managing and rearing your beautiful children and have mad a beautiful home for them despite the awful damage.
Your abuser tried to destroy you, and your beautiful home but he didn’t succeed. You did not let him. Not only did you survive such horrendous abuse but you are thriving.
Your experience shared will help all of us on here. There is life after abuse. No matter how awful the abuse is that is inflicted on us, we can move forward from it (with lots of support and a lot of time) and not be imprisoned by our past.
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I’m (detail removed by moderator) out. But still feel like I’m treading water at times.
Your situation wasn’t to dissimilar to what I feel I’m going through now.
We tried to be civil few months back for our son. Was much better but soon he used each opportunity of contact to manipulate and when I pulled back he was so verbally abusive all over again. So gone bk to no contact.
Im like you in the fact I’ve no interest in any men.
I wish and hoped in time he’d change. but he won’t.
I feel there’s no escape from him as he continues his contact with little one.
I’m feeling really low at mo. Just feel crushed and sick that although out I just feel circled by sharks.
I’m awaiting on the freedom program I hope that’ll help.Your post gives me strength tho as you are still standing strong. I want to be strong
Well done to you x
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