Another step forward – contacted DA service

[Sad and alone]

You could cut the atmosphere with the proverbial knife here but I’m claiming a small positive as I have contacted my local DA service. I have an appointment next week and just have to get over the point where I tell him that I’m going. The GP suggested telling him I am going for a chat with MIND in relation to their active monitoring program. As he knows I’ve said I feel like I’m depressed which the GP confirmed I have symptoms of.

when I spoke to them on the phone they said they didn’t usually do counselling if you’re still in the relationship. They said too much information can be dangerous as it can make you realise what is happening and create a situation at home. I said I really already have had realisations from this forum and reading material so… it seemed a weird thing. How can they help you if they don’t usually talk to you? Or maybe I’ve misconstrued it and they do have a chat but not like formal counselling? I don’t know… How are you ever meant to find out the best way to leave etc if no one wants to give you advice? They said about refuge which seems ridiculous given I have a relative I could go to hopefully and I wouldn’t want to waste their time but they said it didn’t matter, I would still be entitled to a space whatever the circumstances.

Anyway, would be interested to see what anyone else’s first chats with a DA service were like.

[Karisqq]

hey it’s happy to know that you’ve reached the first step, although it seems rough, you should be proud of yourself. It may be great to ask yourself what you need and how you want to be supported, and then to contact those services. If you want therapy you may also try mental health service, although they may not specifically on DA, they still can teach you some ways to cope with depression. I sent email to women aids before regarding to my situation, and they have sent me some resources to seek for supports. Keep going! I’m sure the right timing will come eventually! Meanwhile, be kind to yourself and love yourself!

[Sad and alone]

I went to the appt. I was worried about telling him as I can’t go anywhere without him knowing. As a result of an argument and him telling me I was mental and need to see a psychiatrist I was able to say I had an appt with a counsellor.

So they took my details. And did an assessment. She said I was medium level, didn’t score high enough to need to see her but can be supported by their floating staff. So I guess it means I don’t get assigned anyone in particular. I prob toned down my responses, I don’t want to admit everything. When she referred to “the abuser” and I have to give their details it upset me as I feel guilty. Then when something happens here I’m glad.

I asked about how to respond during arguments and they said about grey rock and biff. Looking at grey rock I have done this but get accused of not listening. But maybe I just need to persevere with that method. They said it’s normal to have reactive anger.

Asked for what to say about depression as that’s what I was meant to be there for. Also looked it up online just so I had something to tell him when he asked how it went. So sad really. Noticed two or three things they say can help were what he’d said to me before so he’d obviously been looking it up and then telling me it as if he knew. So when I come home and say the same he would be able to say he’d told me that and I never listen to him but I’m willing to listen to everyone else.

[Author]

Posts