Anxious

[EbonyRaven]

Going to have to appear for the police. I have huge problems remembering and working with numbers, so I’m terrified that I’ll get so confused about dates and amounts if I’m cross-examined. It’s Dyscalculia, I’ve been like that forever, but never had a full official diagnosis.

[KIP.]

Write everything down when you’re calm and get the CPS to explain you need your notes and the reasons why. It’s normal to be anxious and also to get confused. Confusion is not the same as lying. Just be open and honest. My mind went blank when I was asked how long I’d been married. The court expects that kind of thing.

[EbonyRaven]

Thanks Kip, I was having quite the panic attack last night. I hope they’ll allow me to have notes.

[KIP.]

I think the courts are very reasonable and open to helping you give the best evidence you can. They have to be seen to be fair and by not allowing you to have written aids when you have dyscalculia won’t allow you to give your best evidence. If you’ve advised them of your situation and they still refuse then at least they have been pre warned. I found Court staff to be very sympathetic. Looking back, you’re just going to tell the truth to someone. That’s all you can to. The evidence speaks for itself. Lean on victim support and have something nice planned for that evening. Something gentle but distracting. A friend round for dinner. A favourite movie and buy a new bubble bath. A new fragrance. Lavender is very good for relaxing. Something to look forward to. You will do great. It wouldn’t be going to court if there wasn’t a good chance of success x

[fizzylem]

Can relate so much ER, I have dsylexia and mem probs due to the prologued stress and distress of dealing with him. I worry I won’t be able to articulate myself or will say something I later think oh no that was not then that was at a different time or not pull the best example and waffle. I’ve been trying to tell myself just do your best and draw from your truth and that’s all I can do. I’m taking my WA’s worker to old my hand – I’m hoping she will help me when I draw a blank, she always seems spot on and seems to have a full grasp of our situation. Good luck with it x

[EbonyRaven]

Thank you. Got a meeting with the IDVAL lined up so will have a chat with her about it all. I’ve also been watching Youtube videos on the procedures, who stands where etc. That has made me feel a bit better.

I’ll have my aromatherapy roll-ons with me for certain. The support and focus ones probably.

You’re right, all I know is my truth, I can only give that.

[Anonymous]

ER, I’m getting a pre trial visit to the court to see what’s what and who’ll stand where. Have you not been offered that?

[EbonyRaven]

Hi Landy, I’m going to ask for that when I meet with the IDVA. Anything that helps. Thanks for the idea.

I’m going to have to go shopping for something to wear too. I’ve put so much weight on in the last couple of years that none of my smart clothes fit any more.

I have some bits that I wear to work when I’m covering but although they’re smart, they’re colourful. I’ll make it a treat for myself though anyway.

[KIP.]

I know we can’t talk about specific cases but I was told to think of my favourite actress and become her when I get into the witness box. I was Meryll Streep. I know it sounds mad but it puts distance between you and your emotions and recounting your evidence. It helped me stay calm. For what it’s worth my ex made up such ridiculous lies that I made his solicitor look amateur and pathetic. All I did was stick to the truth. Simple as that x and yes I bought something new and smart x there was no mirror in the toilets and even though I knew I was going to go through one hell of an experience. I just wanted to check my hair! Take a small mirror x

[EbonyRaven]

Haha I’m not entirely sure I should be Helena Bonham-Carter, who’s mad as a box of frogs. That’s a good tip though. The mirror too. Thank you.

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