Any advice on timing of leaving?

[ISOPeace]

I’ve finally got the courage to plan my exit. He knows something is up because his behaviour has got worse. I had planned to leave (detail removed by moderator) so there wouldn’t be a risk of him turning up at (detail removed by moderator)  pick up. But I’ve found out he is (detail removed by moderator) and of course I need him to be at work so he doesn’t know what’s happening until we’re gone. Leaving the week after means waiting another month! I don’t want to do it the week before in case when he sees the kids he doesnt give them back. At least when he goes to work he can’t keep them. I don’t feel at risk of physical violence but the thought of being here another month is so miserable. He regularly uses my anxiety triggers to punish me and I just feel myself retreating inwards.

Does anyone have any advice on timing? I’m conscious that I often only see limited options so would welcome your thoughts. Thanks xxxx

[iliketea]

Could you set it up so you have all your belongings, everything you need out, well ahead of time, and so when its time to go, when you can find the right time, when he’s not there, you can just “go to the park” with your child and then just go where you’re really headed. This is what I did. Just go quietly, when you want to go. No goodbye, just walk out.

[ISOPeace]

That’s a thought Iliketea. The 2 problems I can think of are 1. I have pets that need to leave either before me or the same time and 2. I’ll have to explain why we’re getting in the car, which we’re barely using during lockdown. I’m sure there’s a way around these things. If it wasn’t lockdown I’d go and see a friend for the day with the kids. B****y lockdown! Xxxx

[gettingtired]

Is there someone you could say you’re all going to see who lives alone?
People who live alone are allowed to join support bubbles. Could you say you’re going for a socially distanced walk or meet up in the park with them? Or taking the car as you’re going food shopping or to the garden centre or somewhere you’d need to drive to? Sorry if these suggestions aren’t very helpful! Xx

[ISOPeace]

Thanks gettingtired, all suggestions are helpful, even if they’re not possible, as they help get me thinking! Xxxx

[iliketea]

Could you say the car needs a service and park it elsewhere, with your stuff.
When you leave, book a cab to pick up up where you’re picking up your children, or a few streets away. Then take it to pick up your car.
Animals, say they are booked into the vets for jabs/checkup, and say you’ve got to take in first thing because of Covid they have to be left overnight/for a few hours.
Another option if you can’t take them where you are going is fosterers, vet should know who does this locally or a local FB group will know. X

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