Anyone else’s do this?

[HaPea]

So I had a message of my husband with a picture of (detail removed by moderator) he had. I replied when I saw it telling him to seek medical attention then, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Then when I realised the messages had been sent earlier I asked if (detail removed by moderator). I didn’t get a response all day. Then when I did I get a snarky one saying something along the lines of (detail removed by moderator). It’s like he was goading me wanting attention for hurting himself. But he’s in a job where he regularly hurts himself soooo why should I pander? I don’t send him messages all day of all the nicks and bruises I get attention seeking.

[Bananaboat]

Your message has been heavily moderated so it’s tricky to follow but if I’ve understood then yes! My ex would say he’s hurt himself at work, or he was suffering stomach or back pain- send texts saying he needed help, maybe needed doctor appointment or A&E, or he didn’t want to live. My caring nature would kick in and try to help then he’d either ignore my texts/calls, not show up at the doctors, or have a miraculous recovery and go out drinking. God forbid I was busy and didn’t reply quick enough or I’d be stonewalled for days!

I also know someone who has a phobia of sickness and their partner loudly & unnaturally stars heaving to get what he wants as it triggers her phobia but she’s too scared not to help him, sick. Looking back it’s like they are testing us to see how much we care and they can get away with.

[HaPea]

Yeah you got the gist of it. I already had tweaked the situation myself but it still got heavily moderated!

It’s somewhat good to know that it’s not unique to my situation.

[Lightning-Jet]

Ah yes, this is a classic tactic. He is trying to see if he still has hold over you. He wants to see if you will feel sorry for him, oh boohoo I’ve hurt myself, feel sorry for me.
He will have built up the trauma-bond with you over time, he is hoping you will still have some sort of loyalty towards him, that you care for him still. Any little thing he can try to grab onto as a way of trying to get you back under his control.
He is also trying to guilt trip you for not being with him anymore; he will provoke you, he will want a reaction from you. When he doesn’t get the response he is hoping for; he will show his true colours again.
Don’t pander to him – go Grey Rock, very disinterested in him

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