Anyones ex stopped child contact ?

[Mellow]

Has anyones ex stopped child contact ?out of choice …just wondering if he’s making mind games or if he will be gone for good.they usually try come back but I think his ego and new supply would stop that

[maddog]

My ex has abandoned all his children, at least the ones he knows about. He still tries to hoover them up every now and again, and of course blaming me. He’s told them that I’m trying to turn them against him and that I control them. Typical projection. I’ve had conversations about this with the children and they confirm that I don’t control them, and nor do I try to turn them against him. To them his behaviour speaks for itself. Doesn’t stop him stalking me and the children, trying to find out where we are and about our lives etc.

[Mellow]

I understand my ex has told everyone I’ve stopped contact what in fact happened is I tried to create supervised contact I have not heard anything from him.i wasn’t expecting it.I won’t contact but now it’s like he’s doing it out of choice .I’m not really bothered as that situation is better for me but just know my kids are hurting inside and not telling me I’m trying not to bring him up in passing but sometimes I forget and I can see my child’s face melt.also I’m wondering if he trying to take things further in regards to access.did you ever do this with your child’s father ?it’s just a waiting game I guess

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Mellow

He may be planning on taking you to court on the basis that you have stopped all contact, regardless of whether you actually have or not. I wouldn’t necessarily think that this would be the end, unfortunately, although some do walk away from children. I wouldn’t deliberately avoid speaking about him. Your children will need opportunities to be upset at his sudden disappearance, and to talk to you about that. I mean you might not have any answers for them, but they must feel they can speak about him and be upset, and you can be there for them, you don’t have to have all the answers and can say that you don’t know what he’s doing. Doesn’t mean you should make contact with him though either. Perhaps this is his hope that you will chase him for contact.

Remember, this is not you upsetting the children. Its him. There’s a big difference. Make sure they know its ok to talk about him if they want to, and to express their upset and worries.

warmest wishes

ts

[Mellow]

Thankyou I’m not bothered if he takes me to court I’ll be waiting

[Twisted Sister]

oh good for you! I wish you well with whatever happens next.

[Mellow]

if he does I will fight till end I won’t be silent I haven’t done anything wrong it’s him just seems a shame because everyone I speak to has nothing good to say about court system.

[Footballfan1]

He is probably adding to yours and the children’s trauma bond.
He will know that the lack of contact will be making you think about him a lot.
He will suddenly start up the contact again and will expect you all to just be so grateful that you agree to anything he says.

He might apply for a child arrangement order.
He can apply to have certain access to the kids or even full residency.
It doesn’t mean it will be approved though.
You would be able to put in your side of it.
X

[Mellow]

Yes he can do what he likes I will be here waiting lol

[Mellow]

When you’ve been through everything and they want court just seems like icing on cake he’s given me all I can take and I’ve come out stronger I have bad days but I know I’m still better off without him and it’s like I’ve desensitised nothing phases me a anymore what he’s going to or not going to do .

[Author]

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