- This topic has 10 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
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Hey , I haven’t posted for a while !
He is back in our house , I knew this would happen sometime before Xmas .
Obviously , he is on his best behaviour , even cried to me one night saying how he is under pressure as fine so much work on house etc and he feels guilty he hasn’t spent enough time with the children .
Apologised for putting me through so much !
I played along as just want a nice quiet Christmas , still going along with my plan though .. just to update you guys !
Still saving , working loads and getting stronger xx -
Nice to hear from you and such a shame you couldn’t keep him out. The pathetic attempt at hooking you back in is so predictable to go from hurting rejecting and humiliating you and your children, to crying like he’s the victim is what they do. Every day with him is a day longer you and your children are exposed to this kind of damaging mentality and it will have a lasting affect on your children. They see your treatment as normal and will accept that in their own adult relationships so I’m glad you’re still planning your exit. Won’t be long before his true self comes back. Take care.
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Yes that awakening and realisation is what will get you hurt. When the abuser sees the victim getting stronger he will be more extreme to regain control so when you don’t respond to his nice gestures and toe the line again, his abuse will get worse till he snaps x stay safe. That’s what got me hurt. I was expecting the nice phase after the nasty phase but that only comes when he gets his way. This time he’s moved back so that’s a victory. In his mind he thinks he’s won and you’re back under control. A bit of crying and playing the victim card to seal the deal.
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You are 100% right kip .. I can see it all .. even though he is here we hardly see each other , with work etc . Suits me for now .
I can see how I got sucked in in the past , this time I am on the ball .
He thinks he has the upper hand but only because I am letting him think this .. I am in control of my life now -
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Do they always become physical? Mine hasn’t since the kids were little, they are all adults now.
He is like a petulant child right now mostly because I am working silly hours and I can’t be bothered to feed and water him like I usually do. Normally I jump up as soon as he comes home, kettle on but I think why?
His reply to a request for help in the next few days was to tell me to have more naps!
I’m not deliberately trying to wind him up but clearly he isn’t used to this from me. -
Try standing up to him and telling him you’re leaving him and you will see him get physical. When they get what they want and you do what they say to keep the peace then they’re having a ball. You’re brainwashed and programmed into doing whatever he wants. He’s the top dog. It’s when this is challenged and he starts to lose control he becomes very dangerous. Being physical with you once is sometimes all it takes to control you. That threat of a repeat of the violence is used to keep you under his control and intimidate you. You still remember that encounter for a good reason.
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