18th February 2016 at 8:12 pm #9892
Been so strong past few days – started sorting house and moving forward and then ………. Spoke to him tonight and he’s got me again !!!!
Told me he’s lost a stone in weight and struggling so much financially.
Told me to man up get home and take responsibility for everything. He said he will be nicer once we are home.
I’m not to get any orders eg residency or occupational.
Said his time with our little girl is his and she can’t go to her friends party !!
Basically I left him so it’s all my fault and I need to sort it 😢
I’ve ended up agreeing to meet him tues in a public place to drop our little girl off and I will then stay at our house. They will go to his new flat !
I’ve also agreed to move back home with our little girl as this s killing him with little contact.
Once again. My voice has been taken and I’m moving back 😢😢😢
So so scared X.
18th February 2016 at 9:04 pm #9896InneedofsomepeaceParticipant
Please don’t do it! You have been so strong, speak to your refuge workers. He wont have changed hunny. I know it is so i have so many times wanted to go back. The police and refuge workers adviced me not to arrange contact that if he really wants to see them let him go to court and get supervised contact in a contact centre. He’s never bothered and my kids are happy without him. I have to be honest i am so concerened for yours and your daughters safty. Is it possible to change your number? You are doing so well moon you should be proud of yourself
18th February 2016 at 9:15 pm #9898Winterblues2Participant
This is not your fault moon, you left because of his behaviour, which he is entirely responsible for! He is a grown man who definitely knows what is right and wrong. Do not blame yourself for his actions.
Do not go back, do not answer his calls he will end up getting under your skin more and more. Please talk to the staff at the refuge for support.
Have you looked into getting an emergency prohibited steps order? It would look to resolve child contact issues and mean that he has to return her or else is in contempt of court.
Please keep yourself safe, remember what this monster did to you. This could be your only chance to stay away for good. Xx
18th February 2016 at 9:38 pm #9902DaisyParticipant
oh moon, well done for all the steps forward you made,
They still count, don’t let “his words” ruin or wipe out what you did and how you felt.
His words don’t show he’s changed moon,
It’s about him, his weight,his finances,
And telling you to man up, dictating what your daughter will be doing,
I can’t see him being nicer when you are home, I honestly can’t, if you’re scared now moon and it’s just words across a phone line,
think how much worse it will be when it’s right in front of you and in your face.
there’s got to be protection and support put in place first moon, that’s got to be your priority before returning
X x x
19th February 2016 at 10:23 pm #9976
I hate this rollercoaster sooo much
There are repercussions no matter what decision I make !! 😢X
19th February 2016 at 10:24 pm #9977
I don’t feel worth your help and support I’m so sorry I’m such a loser X
19th February 2016 at 10:35 pm #9980DaisyParticipant
Whatever you decide, let it be your decision, and not rushed through by anyone, after all it you it effect the most.
X x x
19th February 2016 at 11:29 pm #9982Confused123Participant
Your not a loser Hun , don’t ever say or think that , walking away from abuser takes so much strength and u did it Hun , keeping away is harder but with right support u can do it , I’ve been there I know how hard it is to ignore what they say , how one conversation can leave u feeling helpless and full of guilt , yes u left and u r sorting this mess out by keeping away from him , cause it was him who chose to destroy the realtionship by hurting U, he broke the family unit not u . Please listen to us and don’t go bk , please tell your support worker the pressure he is putting on u, u say whatever u do has a repruccsision , u seem to be focusing on if u don’t listen to him he will make your life hell , Hun he will do that anyway if u go bk , he is losing control of u , u can stay away , fight with your inner self that is saying listen to him , remind yourself how much he hurt u , why go bk to a guy like that , u deserve respect
20th February 2016 at 10:27 am #10011White RoseParticipant
You say it yourself – you’ve been so strong. You can do it again for your sake and that of your daughter.
You don’t have to have contact with him.
You don’t have to go back.
You don’t have to be at risk of harm.
You can do it just keep asking for help and accepting it xxxx
20th February 2016 at 7:54 pm #10047Falling SkysParticipant
Hugs, just remember what pushed you to leave in the first place.
None of it was your doing, big deal losing some wait, he needs to man up and accept what he did.
Just stay safe.
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