Biderman’s Chart of Coercion

[Alicenotichains]

Hi,

I am becomingly increasingly aware of how I became brainwashed in my two abusive relationships and this awareness is helping me move forward. I have been reading up about brainwashing techniques and I came across “Biderman’s Chart of Coercion”. I read it and thought.. Aha!! Looked at in the context of abusive relationships this explains a lot. This answers the question that people used to ask me “Why don’t you just leave?”.
I am starting to get it. I have ordered a book on brainwashing. I am going to read up on it. I realise now that for many years, my thoughts and my emotions have not been my own. Its only in the space out of the relationships that the brainwashing is starting to subside.
I think I am really starting to see the light that I thought I would never see.
x

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Alice,

I’ve just looked up the chart you mentioned, it makes a lot of sense. Have you looked at the power and control wheel too? It’s almost like these men go to college to study tecniques in how to do this stuff, it’s creepy and chilling how they all act very similar.

I’ve just finished the book ‘Psychopath free’ this week which has definitely helped me feel validated, it talks about the stages of abusive relationships with highly manipulative people (n*********s, psychopaths, sociopaths etc) and has a very positive slant by the end, on how we can come out of it and experience a better life with a better appreciatin and understanding of ourselves, and an understanding that sadly not everyone is good like us. I find reading about this stuff v helpful and validating.

I can totally relate about the brainwashing, I feel like my ex used to brainwash/hypnotise me which sounds crazy to most people who haven’t experienced abuse. Initially I used to love the sound of his voice, and would often feel sleepy quite soon into the conversation, and need to lie down! It’s so strange thinking about it, I never understood why I always used to get so drained and sleepy and after being with him and had to sleep for hours and would often need to lie down in his presence, once I even lay down on the floor in front of him I felt so exhausted. I think it was a combination of brainwashing/hypnosis, exhausting covert abuse and him draining my life force away, like an emotional vampire. My energy has returned to normal now that he is no longer in my life.

I hope your new book helps, I am reading one called ‘The Betral Bond’ at the moment which is great too.

[EeyoreNoMore]

I really do feel that knowledge is power.

Now, how do we go about educating police, judges, social servs, Cafcass etc etc etc!

[Ayanna]

I just looked up this chart. It is a perfect chart for what happens with us in an abusive relationship.
Thank you, Alicenotinchains.

[Author]

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