Bills

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

So I am now free from my abusive relationship. I have been since last week. I am feeling happier, calmer and am starting to enjoy things again. The only thing that is becoming a problem are bills and money. I have to wait 2 months for universal credit to sort my claim out, I have left my job for obvious reasons so I won’t be getting a wage from them anymore apart from the one last payment at the end of this month. I have rung companies to explain the situation and say that I might not be able to pay them but I will try pay something. I know it’s not the companies problem, they’re just there to take money for providing a service at the end of the day but I expected them to be a little bit more understanding if I’m honest. One company told me if I didn’t pay then it would result in bailiffs coming to my door. I’m already in debt and I don’t want people coming to take mine or my daughters things away but at the end of the day until all my money is sorted out, which could take a few months, I physically cant pay everything. I know there isn’t much that can be done, I suppose I just wanted a rant as I honestly thought it would be a little bit easier than this.

[Janedoeissad]

So sorry to hear you experienced that. Companies can be so heartless sometimes.

Have you got in touch with your local Citizens Advice? They might be able to tell you if you are entitled to any emergency loan/funding. They have a emergency cash type thing in my area and I got £50, its not a lot but every little helps.

Also a company called Step Change are supposed to be very good if you are in debt. They might have some good advice for you. All their advice is free too.

I am sure the bailiffs would not come knocking after one or two missed payments. Surely there is a process which needs to be done first. Surely they have to contact you and try and get payment? Please do not get too panicked about that. You are trying your best and that is all you can do.

Sending hugs

J xx

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Hiya,
Thankyou for the advice! I have heard about stepchange, I’m going to give them a ring and see if CAB can help too. I rang my local womens aid and they said they’d be able to put me in touch with people that can help, they also advised that I can ask DWP for an advance on my benefits. I am in arrears with council tax so they would be able to send people round I’m afraid. I am trying not to stress about money and bills because I should be enjoying my freedom and spending stress free time with my little girl. Compared to how things were just a few weeks ago, money and bills can wait for now 🙂
Sending hugs back! X*x

[freedomtochoose]

All the best to you lovely. This sounds really tough.
I’m not sure how old your ‘little girl’ is – I too have a daughter who was quite young when I left for refuge. Remember that hugs are free!
Despite the difficulties we had with finances etc there was something about always going forward to the love we have for each other which pulled us through.

In addition to the things already suggested there is a website called turntous where you can input your circumstances and check if there are any charities out there offering grants for things you may need.

I applied in the past – detailing my situation in confidence to one organisation and this paid for a carpet and a cooker which was helpful.

You can do this inpendently of your benefits if you find the right organisation. I am not sure what your training is – but many of the organisations on there offer help to people in certain professions who have encountered difficult circumstances.

It takes some time, but if you get something like this it kind of helps with not feeling so deprived as it were.

I had and still have an awful financial aftermath when we left for refuge, but with patience and creativity we found a way through. Mostly appreciating the things in life which were and are very simple.

Early on, one thing that helped was getting an allotment for example. It took a while but it brought time outside and vegetables to exchange with neighbours.

[Ayanna]

Living on our own is hard.
I work and struggle with the bills.
Life as a single woman is not easy, but better than experiencing abuse.
You can do this.
Make sure you inquire what you are entitled to in various places and take all the help you can get.

[Serenity]

It’s true, you can ask the DWP for an advance in your benefits.

Did you know that certain large utility companies have Trust Funds?

They keep a pot of money for people in difficult situations. They can even write off some debt. You can apply through the CAB.

I didn’t know about it at first, as they don’t exactly publicise it. It is worth checking out. This may help in the long term, although the advice above may help you in the present.

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Hi guys,
Thanks so much for all your lovely helpful replies. Things have been good and I’ve been managing money. I’ve contacted stepchange and they’ve set up and agreement to sort my debts that I am happy with. Next month is going to be tough, I’ll be getting my first benefit payment at the end of March but they’ve mucked up and not addedmy daughter onto the claim and are dragging their heals about sorting the money out. I don’t want to ask my ex for help. It just gives him some sort of control again which he will have a field day over. I’m extremely stressed and my health is getting bad because of it. I am feeling very overwhelmed and angry at my ex. Things have gone from bad to worse since I met him. The only good thing that has come from it is my daughter. I don’t understand how one person can manage to destroy someone’s finances, mental health and physical health and then swan off and pretend like nothing’s happened.

[Author]

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