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All weekend he’s been giving me verbal abuse again saying I’m cold and what’s happened to me and why don’t I love him anymore. I can’t love someone who is nasty. I’m starting to blame myself for the situation but he’s made me like this. I don’t show affection anymore etc did anyone else go like this like a robot
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Yes me. I hardly speak to my husband. I feel completely shut down. I feel dead inside. Unfortunately we are d****d if we do and d****d if we don’t. I can be the perfect adapted wife but he’ll still rant on at me. I haven’t had sex enough with him, I’ve ran the tap for too long etc. How do they expect us to behave?! I feel so sad and lost while I’m trying to get out of this mess. It takes all my energy just to get to work and care for my child. I have no additional support.
Don’t believe that this is your fault. It’s totally impossible to live like this. I struggle with guilt and self doubt every day too but I just think back over the years and the cycle of abuse I’ve been caught up in. It’s impacting my son too. ❤️-
Oh my god.. yes. My partner says the same.. I’m cold I don’t show my love and affection towards him. But it’s not like he’s showering me with love. I have nothing to say to him or share with him. We usually just sit next to each other staring at the telly. That’s our “quality time” on the weekend. We barely have anything in common to talk about.
He always wants to talk about our relationship
Apparently I’m a closed book. There’s a reason for that. Anytime I share my thoughts or opinion with him he just uses them against me and throws them back in my face. Or if he doesn’t like them then argues about them.
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Yep. If you read Living with the Dominator you will see the headworker. My ex used to say he was angry because I didn’t give him enough sex. Didn’t make any difference. It doesn’t matter what you do, it will never be enough. He will simply change the goal posts and carry on the abuse. You can’t even win. If you say of course I dont love you anymore, you’ve made it your life’s ambition to utterly destroy me. He will find a way to twist it back on you. Forget and ignore what he says or wants. Cut him out the equation. He’s irrelevant. What do you want? How can you make your life better? What outside help do you need to see the truth?
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Me too!! I’m told I am mentally abusing him. He cried in front of me and I didn’t react and I’m the worst person on the earth. How can I treat him so bad after xx amount of years together. He admits to ‘losing his rag a few times but apparently doesn’t deserve how I am treating him! They are all the same, keep a diary, remind yourself who is really to blame when you doubt yourself.
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Yes he does this he was crying after giving me loads of verbal and I didn’t react I didn’t cry or do anything and he blamed me said I’m cold and evil. I find affection hard or opening up to him in any way because he uses things against me later I’ve learnt this now. Want him to leave the house again
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Eventually I gave up replying at all and he would just stand over me and rant for hours at a time. I learned that no matter what I said it would be wrong or twisted so I became so withdrawn and a shell of myself. I was verbally beaten into submission. Depression followed which made me even more vulnerable. Please get out of this toxicity before it destroys you. He doesn’t care about you, he likes nothing more than to see you desperate and confused and that’s the outcome of any communication with an abuser. Its not you. It’s him! Is there anyone else in your life who leaves you feeling this way. I bet you have good relationships with everyone else. It’s him.
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So I’ve sorted Thursday off at work for the clinic. I’ve got back and he’s got this little sad face and then makes me hug him and told me he’s taking us away he’s booking a holiday the end of the week. Just me and him how lovely I used to get excited over this but not now because he always starts on me on holiday and this time is abroad so I can’t get home if that happens and he’s like do you still want to go there ? He knows I always wanted to go I’ve been asking for years to go we never did and I said yeah course and just faked it I don’t want to go he ruins every trip I can never do what I want to do so I don’t want to go.
Then he makes me hug him I have to go to him he don’t come to me because it’s another form of control in some way.
Why he thinks we are all h***y dorey to go away I don’t know.
He was like I dint feel like you love me so draining every single day of saying this it can’t be a normal relationship we’re always discussing the relationship in some way which is so abnormal! -
Yes I get this too. Wants to book a holiday but then uses it against me or tries to drain my finances. We are always discussing the relationship too. Always a drama. Totally exhausting. I don’t respond to texts or emails anymore. Totally pointless. It’s awful to think we can’t even look forward to family holidays already knowing they’ll be hell. I refuse to go anywhere with him now. Can’t even have a day out without his mood spoiling it. Been like this for ages now. Nothing ever changes. Keep moving forward with making positive choices for yourself and your children xx
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