- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Today has been the worst day so far, start of week 4 lockdown and I can’t see its going to change. Nothing major, just on and on and on. Constant put downs, constant “F offs”, constant “why are you arguing?” when I’m asking for help with kids, just constant, on and on, walking away when I try to talk to him about something, or talking over me, dismissing me, on and on, (detail removed by moderator) , (detail removed by moderator), on and on and on whilst he sat on his a*** all day playing on his phone.
Then, I don’t know why, when I was (detail removed by moderator), I suddenly stopped, put it down, took my cup of tea and walked to the local park and called the police and cried, and cried. Just had had enough.
Felt a bit stupid as nothing exact had happened, he hadn’t punched me, or kicked me, but it was all in front of the children, and one started copying him and saying the same things. It just all got on top of me and I couldn’t see another 8 weeks of waiting to escape.
I don’t know what happens now. They called back and we’ve arranged to meet in a park tomorrow. They’ll be in uniform. I don’t know how I feel about doing it in a public space. I don’t know how I feel about meeting a stranger and talking at a 2 metre distance about personal stuff. It seems weird. Also don’t know what to say. Are they really going to take me seriously. He’s just being rude isn’t it? Non stop rude. Is that an offence? I’m so tired. I haven’t written up the year plus of evidence, I’m not prepared. I don’t know what to do from hereon. I don’t know what to expect. Anyone been in this position?
-
Well done for contacting them. I know how hard it is. Go along and tell them you’re scared of him. He’s abusing you in front of the children which is child abuse. Ask if they can remove him. It would be good to speak to a domestic abuse officer who knows more about the new laws. At the very least it’s a first step. You need help here and they have access to other agencies and there are laws they may be able to use to get him out. It sounds like they’re taking it very seriously if they’re coming so soon. They’re there to protect you so use them x
-
-
Try not to over think it ILT, this is brilliant progress you have made. Your concerns are genuine and you’ve had enough; I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage about any evidence; procedure shows that really, at this stage, all they will want to know is what are the effects, on you and the children.
If he’s been violent or aggressive, pushing, up in your face, intimadating, threatening, coercive etc then tell them this; but do not worry too much as they should ask you the right questions. It doesn’t have to be a fresh incident, this is at the long line of many incidents and his continual problem behaviour isn’t it.
They should follow procedure, but sadly this sometimes doesn’t happen – guess if you feel they are meeting your needs here then this is ok and you are in the right place; but if they don’t then get back on here and we can all help you with what next; your support worker can also help here cant she – if you have one – and WA the helpline – guess what I’m saying is there are people you can talk it through with afterwards if you need to – whatever the outcome.
If they’ve had any DA training they should be aware that your head is full, that it’s difficult for you to say what you need to say, so much has gone on it’s hard to now where to start, this is why they should really only be asking and listening to the effect on you and the childre for now; assessing the risk and working out what needs to happen next – only.
I’ve read that they do have the power to remove him for 28 days if they think this is needed – so perhaps this will happen? Would give you and the children the head space you need wouldn’t it for now, so you can de stress and work out what next with others.
I think your biggest concern is the children isn’t it – if I re call – tell them this. Will be good to have this on record whatver happens – whether it goes anywhere at this stage or not – same applies for reporting he is abusive.
Will be ok, this is the best thing you have done here – you’re exploring whether they can help x
-
Don’t let them fob you off. Look up the law on coercive control and the risk factors/ risk assessment for outcomes in domestic abuse. It is utterly ridiculous that they have asked you to meet in a park. Not good enough. When you get there. Say that what you have to say is confidential. You want to be able to that safely and privately as is your right. It’s up to the police to facilitate you to do this.
-
Park could be ideal also though in this current climate, means you can keep 2m apart doesn’t it – keep safe. Think the park would work for me really well, out in the fresh air, and there shouldn’t be too many people around either, there certainly won’t be once they get there – I imagine they can clear a park in seconds just by rolling up! It’s an informal chat atm as well isn’t it x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
