- This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Im just wondering if anyone else can relate to this. Im doing so much better with life in the current moment. After months of intense counselling I am able to cope with life because I feel like I understand why he does what does and that I am not to blame. But what I am struggling with is almost like Im grieving for the girl & women that I was. For what was taken from me for (detail removed by moderator). For who I should have been. For what I could have become. For not being able to be mother I wanted to be to my children. Does that make sense? I dont know how to deal with these feelings
-
Its amazing that your counselling is helping you feel stronger and understand more.
I feel the same as you, all this has hit me hard and right now i am not coping at all.
I often sit and think about how much ive lost been here as long as you and cant see me ever getting out so yes I often sit and mourn almost who i once was that funny strong determined girl rape first took that away from me but over the years with my husband ive changed so much I dont even know who i am anymore. So you really arent alone.
Maybe you could talk to your counsellor about this? Im pretty sure its a normal reaction to what you have been through im not sure if you have left or not but either way I think maybe its not too late to re discover that girl that woman? You could learn new skills, make new friends find you again? These abusers take so much from us its up to us i guess to fight back and find ourselves again or even discover a new us a healed stronger wiser happier us?
Im rubbish at advise sorry just wanted to reach out and say you arw not alone im sure in feeling this way xx-
Hi nbumblebee. Im sorry you too feel this way. Im not out, im still with him and often wonder if not being able to shake the mourning is also a way of protecting me. Because sometimes I still wonder whether or not my situation is that bad at all as at the moment he fairly bearable. Then i remember what he put me through and it reminds me not to get sucked back in and completely lose myself again.
Im sorry you are struggling so much at the moment . I hope you have found comfort in the words of others as i have done.
Take care xx
-
-
Yes definitely, I met my ex in my (detail removed by moderator) and was with him a similar time to you. So I gave him the best years of my life. I have never had a career, I didn’t have friends in all that time! And I am yet to find where I fit in this world despite having left over a year ago. One thing that helps me is a vision board, you can do it anyway you like, a book/pinboard/Pinterest. Put things in it that you would love to do or achieve, how you would like to see your life. Look at it often and remind yourself that your current situation is not your final destination. Add positive quotes and affirmations. Then when you keep looking at it and noticing that you have achieved some of the things you can feel proud of yourself. One of my achievements was taking my young daughter camping on my own. It took a lot of courage but I did it (twice now!) and it feels so good to be making good memories and traditions together. Onwards and upwards! (I even have a wedding dress on my board!! I just have to find a nice man to marry).
-
Hi beautiful Angel … Whyowhy,
I love it that you have a vision board and that you have a wedding dress on it … I know a man who re-married at 74 years of age so never give up
I always think as well of Captain Tom … he waited 99 years to tell his story! Never give up hope
Its fantastic that you took your daughter camping… I hope you have lots more trips planned on that vision board
ASKđź’›BELIEVEđź’›RECEIVEđź’›
Sending you continued love and Support
Darcy xx -
-
-
Hi beautiful Angel… Tryingtofindhope,
I understand what you are saying but please don’t let this man rob you of what you want to do otherwise he is still in control
Do not hand that power over to him
Time may have passed on certain ‘ages’ of your life, but I believe you can do anything at any age
You still have your children so be the Mum you wanted to be now, invest in yourself and what direction you want to go in that you couldn’t before
Ask the girl/woman you are grieving for what she would like you to do to honour her, sit quietly in meditation and see what answer you get and then thank her for the lessons she has taught you and honour her by being an empowered women today
You could even do a little ritual to let her go… until you let her go the new you cant fully grow
You have to feel to heal… so let the emotions out and then move them on!
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx-
-
Hi my Darling…
I am so glad you are feeling a boost
I can only ever post from my own experiences, however I know without doubt that change can occur at any moment and we have the power to direct our own lives and make it happen
I am not claiming its easy or without hard work and practice but the alternative is hard work too so we might as well try and give it a go!
My true pure intention is to empower women and make them see the strength we have inside.
If I can do anything else to support you let me know and keep posting
Don’t ever give up hope my Angel
D xx
-
-
Thank you beachut. I think part of the problem is when i met my husband i was pretty much a child still so i dont have any idea who i am. I just know that girl that grew into a women hurt so badly for so many years and this has shaped who i am today. When i think of her, i can feel her pain as if it were happening now.
I guess i havevthe opportunity to discover who i actually am if i stay strong and dont allow him to hold me back anymore x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
