- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Had to pick my (detail removed by Moderator) child up early one day recently as they were upset about something and having a tantrum which the dad couldn’t cope with. Dad appears to have tried to restrain the child (I believe to stop him hitting & scratching in anger which I don’t agree with but guess that’s an individual thing? I just know it makes my child angrier) but has also said things along the lines of ‘you’re not welcome, I don’t like you, I won’t pick see you anymore, you’ll end up in prison, no one will like you’ – not exactly those words so they aren’t moderated out.
When I arrived, my child was sobbing their heart out and tried to talk to me but dad kept interrupting saying he’s lying and implying things have been getting worse each time he sees the child. So I calmly said let’s go home, to which the dad reacted by throwing his stuff in my car and walking off, no goodbyes. Child instantly calmed down.
Now we all know tantrums can be epic but it’s shocked me how badly the dad handles them. Obviously there’s no calm, logical discussion or reasoning with him so I’m a bit lost what to do to help my child – any ideas/experiences people can share?
-
Hey bananaboat – some concerning features here. It’s hard as you can’t say child’s age. Can you speak to an external agency for further advice? Health visitor ? GP? School ? Young minds – an online resource ? NSPCC CAMHS if they have support? Children’s services if involved? Most important of all your child – active listening doing nice stuff they open up best when relaxed having fun and no pressure even if intentions are only to help. Car journeys are good walks water fights days out – anything where it is less intense and less eye contact. You got this banana boat – you are the protective parent xx
-
Oh thank you I’m trying. You just want to know they’re happy and safe don’t you. Unfortunately our local dv support for kids is closing due to lack of funding & we never reached the top of the waiting list but some good tips I’ll look into, thank you. Funnily the child did want to talk in the car and we went to the park so the day ended with happy memories. Nothing from the dad since, dunno why I thought he’d check to see if child was ok. x
-
-
I feel for you, I really do. My son is almost an adult now but his father does not know how to be a proper parent. I see it time and again and I’ve read a lot about n********m in parents. Its like he wants the child to bend to his will and he cannot deal with it if they deviate from it. My son stopped talking to his dad about a year ago. Since then his dad has sent him horrible messages overnight and then deleting them the next day – his reason is because he is hurt. But never once does he think about how his son feels or consider why he doesn’t want to speak to him. He lavishes all his attention on our daughter. Its a real messing of the mind. All we can do as the other parent, is show them what unconditional love looks and feels like. So they know they have a safe place and someone who will always be there for them. Its obvious how good a parent you are. That will be enough to help them through when they are let down by the other. x
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
