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We had a lovely day / night out . Few drinks. I dressed nice which he likes me to do and danced which he likes me to do. I went to the bar which I don’t feel comfortable doing because he wanted me to due to self confidence issues but I did it. He told me I was good. Had a nice meal then he turned moody. Went back to hid and he told me to sit down on a chair and wait until he was ready to talk . Felt like forever. He then said I m not good enough , don’t do anything right , he wishes he stayed with people he cheated on me with , said he fancied my friend . It felt like a horrible dad speaking to a child. Next day he says he don’t mean it and loves me. I don’t know what to do maybe just drink talk
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You keep saying, what he likes you to do. ie dress nice, dance, etc. But what do you like? What would you prefer?
If the person you’re with actually cares about you, they will make an effort to do what you like, and what you want. But in everything you’ve written, it’s all been about him. It’s you doing what he wants, without there being an equal exchange of him doing what you want.
In a healthy relationship, there should be an equal exchange of doing what the other person likes, there should be respect regarding dislikes, ie, you don’t feel comfortable in a bar, so he shouldn’t have pushed you into going there, you should have gone to a place where both of you are comfortable. And in a healthy relationship, even drunk, the other person shouldn’t talk down to you.
I obviously don’t have a healthy relationship right now (or I probably wouldn’t be on this forum), but my brother and his wife have a healthy relationship (I’m friends with my sister-in-law, so I’m not just taking this from my brother’s point of view). And I’ve seen my brother drunk around his wife. And he just tells her that she’s amazing. So I think that’s what drunk talk should be like. Someone being kind and loving even when alcohol clouds rational thinking.
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I feel like a naughty child being told off by dad too, the way he talks to me, i hate it and yes we are told what to wear and how to act too, there is more to life than this, be you and its only now im getting help and understanding this sin`t right by what i see especially with social media, and seeing how others live their lives etc.we (all of us) need to be respected and be the person who is locked away inside, we need to be strong and spend our life how we want to . Hugs to all of you
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