Contact from abuser’s new girlfriend

[wildgeese]

I’d be interested to know if anyone has had the experience of the abuser’s new girlfriend contacting you?
In my situation, I have two adult children who both don’t want a relationship with their father. Over the last year and a half, they have resisted any opportunity to talk to him, have blocked him and are now not living near him. Whilst I have blocked contact from my ex, I received an email from his new girlfriend. she also phoned and texted both my children, causing us all a lot of stress emotionally and physically. The email asked (removed by moderator). Whilst initially, I was concerned about whether she thought she was being abused by him, I now know that because she contacted the children to get in touch with their father, she is simply believing the lie that my ex-husband told her, that I have poisoned my children against him. Whilst it’s tempting to contact her to let her know that he is a dangerous person, I’m reluctant to do this because it might just make things worse for me when I already feel unsafe. The children have also decided not to respond but inside they are really hurting and just want him to leave them alone- and it feels like he isn’t letting them by sending these messages that try to make them feel guilty for not seeing him.

[ChocolatePretzels]

Don’t respond! Don’t get involved.

It’s frustrating and I understand you want to advocate for your kids, but the abuser gets the thrill from being in control, and they would have orchestrated this whole situation.

If to respond you’ll be dragged into whatever mess he has planned and I don’t see anything good coming from responding

[Twisted Sister]

Hi wildgeese

You could let the girlfriend know that you have all access channels from him blocked, and the same applies to third-parties also that he might try to manipulate into breaking through, and perhaps she might consider why you have had to go to those lengths? If there is any further contact you will be reporting to the police as harrassment from him via a third party?

Otherwise, ignore, but you do have options if there are further contact efforts.

I hope you and your children can have continued peace without further triggers from him, but it’s important to act to protect where you need to put a stop to it in order for you to all have that peace you deserve.

warmest wishes

ts

[browneyedmum]

Block her with extreme prejudice and no regrets xX.

[wildgeese]

Thanks for advice.
I have ignored, blocked and changed my number to be extra safe.
it’s been a shock though. i will be prepared now if it happens again

[Texas]

Classic triangulation, getting someone to do his bidding. She’s probably been manipulated ny him into doing it. I hope for her sake she gets wise to his ways very soon.

[Author]

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