Couldn’t use a refuge

[DesperateDanielle]

I’m now out and safe but trying to find a refuge was very scary. I phone round loads of places and couldn’t find a refuge in England that could accommodate my disabilities, equipment and my need for carers.

It made me feel as though all hope of getting out was gone. However I was able to go to my local council and ask for help as someone unintentionally homeless. The help I got was great but it took about 2 months to get out.

I was terrified I wouldn’t last long enough to leave as things were escalating at home.

What I experienced in those 2 months has had a real impact on me. Women shouldn’t have to wait that long to get to safety.

Once a place was found all the services that helped me leave were excellent.

Being on my own is good but I think I would have benefitted from being around other women who understood and there is no refuge worker on site to help you out.

If I was to suggest any help to someone having to take the contacting your council route I would say:
▪️Ask for one person to deal with
▪️Make sure they understand if the can or can’t leave messages for you
▪️Ask them to make sure you have ongoing services set up to help you cope

They aren’t as fast as leaving via other routes but they will help you out.

[Lisa]

Hello DesperateDanielle,

I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties with finding a refuge. I’m glad you managed to get out in the end but you are right it is a long time to wait for safety.

Hopefully councils will become more aware of domestic abuse and be more helpful.

Best Wishes,

Lisa

[Helpless]

I am in a similar position, I need equipment and carers and ambulance transport so no refuge will take me.
I am trying to get rehoused in a diffferent authority because I feel I would still not be safe staying in the same authority and I know no one here other than my abuser so would have no physical or emotional support. But they will not put me on their housing register because they say I do not fulfill their local connection rules despite it being the only place I have a connection to and having spent most of my life. But if I was able to turn up at their council offices as homeless, they would have to house me.
This has been going on for (detail removed by Moderator) years, all that happens is safeguarding meetings saying I’m not safe and need to leave, carers reporting that I’m not coping as well as reporting the incidents they see, so at the moment I just feel there is no hope of ever escaping(detail removed by Moderator).

[SunshineRainflower]

Oh my goodness Helpless, I just read your comment, (detail removed by Moderator), please ring the helpline and if you can’t get through then ring Samaritans. Your situation sounds incredibly difficult but there will be a solution, there always is. Do you have a caseworker who could try to sort out the housing for you? It sounds like you are getting stuck in the bureaucratic system but with the right help would be able to navigate it. If you or a caseworker could speak to a person at the council rather than just deal with online applications etc that would probably help explain your situation. Please don’t give up and keep posting for support. Like Danielle said, it can be a total nightmare sorting it all out but in the end we all get there so you can too, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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