Counsellor won’t support my husband – is that a red flag ?

[Shecando]

Hi

I’ve written lots before. My husband has recently been to the GP and told me they said he is being mentally abused and controlled , that it is on his file now so I had better sort myself out.
he was offered counselling – told me the GP said he was a prime example of abuse. This left mw confused , bewildered and super anxious. I know I am not abusive to him and a professional support system I use has reassured me but I feel so unsettled/

he had his app and came home angry , said there  is no help for him , no one can help him until they get to the bottom of why I’m behaving the way I do. The counsellor said she wouldn’t be offering him any more apps. I’m confused as surely they could support him with how he is feeling about his perceived treatment from me. He didn’t speak to me for (timeframe removed by Moderator).
He is using this to ensure I find an answer to my behaviour and is bringing up several things from many years ago like me annoying him once on our (occasion removed by Moderator) . Me supporting children in the house to settle to sleep . The list he has about me goes on and on. He said i should be ashamed of myself for the way I have broken him. He points his finger a lot and is quite intimidating but tells me he is physically scared of me but he doesn’t act it. He told me if I sighed once more in his presence I would see a different side to him. He said I shouldn’t act forlorn as I’m not hard done by.
I try to keep the peace for the sake of the household but (timeframe removed by Moderator) said I wanted to give my perspective . He said none of what I say is true because what he is saying is all fact. He got cross and was shouty so I asked him to keep his voice down so he accused me of stifling him.
I’m really tired and know if I said yes it’s all my fault you feel like this and I’m sorry there would be something else next time. He says I don’t acknowledge any of it but deep down i know  I haven’t done all the things he is accusing me of. There is just no way I can ever have my say or opinion. My (age removed by Moderator) year old has noticed that the things he accuses me of are what he’s doing himself. I feel lost and a failure and really sad that this is documented on his health record. I was advised to get something on my record too which I have but he doesn’t know that . He would flip.
any comforting words would be gratefully received .

[Cherries]

Im going to PM you if that’s OK don’t want to give TMI on here for it to be removed

[Shecando]

Thank you

[EvenSerpentsShine]

You’ve only got his word for what happened at the GP’s and what was said.

Personally I wouldn’t believe a word unless you hear it direct from the GP.

Mine used to tell me that other people had said things, and supported him etc etc and it was all absolute rubbish. Whether he just made it all up, or whether it was kind of a matter of ‘hearing what he wanted to hear’ I will never know, but I’d still be there if I’d taken on trust what he said.

 

[Shecando]

Thank you for your reply. You’re right. It seems very odd that the counsellor has refused to make him any further apps as if hey really felt he was being abused they would have ?

[EvenSerpentsShine]

Exactly right, I agree with you.

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