Destroyed self worth

[orchid7]

Hi all feeling like I think I am hitting rock bottom. I have just recently had incredibly low self worth and its feels like it’s spiraling to the point where I can’t imagine being happy with myself. To the point where I am extremely disgusted by myself as a person and unhappy about who I think I am. I feel repulsed by myself and worthless. Im not going to lie it seems to be triggered by trying to date a little bit. I have been on one date and I really had a great time but after that I’ve pretty much had a breakdown. All the things he used to say ie you are a wh**re, sl**t etc and him being so disgusted by me and my sexual history before meeting him. He was so repulsed by me and I now feel the same towards myself. I’ve had glimmers of this come up but it just keeps getting worse. I could see the logic as to why I’m not those things and why it was more to do with his own problems. But it’s getting to the point where I can’t see the logic anymore and I just feel like I am those things. And I am so scared of being this person that I feel like because I don’t think I could carry on feeling like this. I’ve had counseling and it’s been life changing but these are new feelings now I’m through the ‘keeping away’ part and sexual shame etc is so personal and fragile I can’t seem to work through it. Any advice xx

[Ariel]

That sounds so horrible that someone said all those nasty things to you. This might not be right but maybe write down all the good things about yourself so you can re read them when you are feeling low. Just remember just because he said all that horrible stuff about you does not make it true. You know deep down that you aren’t those things keep thinking about all the wonderful things about yourself and about what you’ve accomplished in your life.

[Shazza]

I’m so sorry that you are feeling like this.
As Ariel said, just because he has said things to you, that does not make them true. They say vile things to cause us hurt and pain, that is their aim. Remember that, and turn it back on him. What he says to you is most likely a reflection of what is true about himself.
You are none if the horrible things he has said to you.
I know you mentioned previous counselling was helpful, do you think it may be a good idea to now seek some further support to work through this aspect? X

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