Did something stupid ended up crying and shaking

[NewWings]

Had a good meeting with my counsellor and went to pick up my son. Called but there was no answer that’s when I made the mistake I went into the house where my husband lives with my sons. I went out to the car to wait for my son when my ex arrived with his brother. They both started shouting at me what have you taken what have you stolen. This went on and on with my brother in law shouting at the top of his voice in front of my son. My son went back into the house meanwhile they were screaming at me they were going to call the police. I was trapped the car blocked (Detail removed by Moderator). It went on for what seemed like ages I began to cry protesting I hadn’t taken anything. My brother in law said don’t try tears with me. They were genuine I was scared and angry with myself for going into the house. Eventually they told me I could go but my sons had witnessed it all. I cried all the way home my youngest came with me as we had arranged. To be accused of being a thief is a joke as my ex when he was in my home took (Detail removed by Moderator). I now realise that both my husband and his brother are really nasty pieces of work. But I’m an adult but for my sons to witness this hurts more than anything. I told my son it was totally wrong what he witnessed. How are my sons ever going to understand that treatment of women like that is wrong if they are living with them. My brother in law had the nerve to say I had ruined my exes life. I have never witnessed men attack a woman verbally like that and all in public. Later my ex rang my son to say it had been over the top and that my brother in law was going to ring me to apologise. Should I ring my solicitor? I know my ex will have rung my sister making it out to be all my fault. I wasn’t thinking straight when I entered the property. My family support my ex because he got there first and blackened my name to them over many years. I just feel so shaken and broken. I have bipolar yet never have my ex or his brother given any understanding or credence either I’m ill or conniving. My eldest son came out with me a few days ago and he was not well confused and not able to focus on anything I guess that’s why I made my mistake I just wanted to know he was ok. Now he has taken the blame messaging me to say he rang his father because he thought I was going to take (Detail removed by Moderator) I see my sons very rarely never at holidays or any other family times. My mother quite happily goes for lunch with my ex. My ex takes them to holiday with my sister or brother or both. I just feel entirely beleagured I don’t know where to turn. I don’t think this will ever end I can’t see how I stay here hoping against hope I might occassionly see my sons. I’m so stupid.

[Twisted Sister]

Oh NewWings
How awful, thank goodness that you don’t live there anymore! You did so well to be gone from there. How b****y terrible. Your poor kids. He needs reporting, that s terrifying, no wonder you are shaken and in shock.

Your poor sons need to be out of that. Oh I can just hear the police now defending his actions because of your entering the house, sorry andnyou should report it, I am just such a cynic. Do report him. So sorry you suffered this.

I am very relieved that you could drive away and have a home to be safe in.

Warmest wishes ts

[Anonymous]

Hi New wings,

Where do people get off on treating people like this? Its terrible and sounds like he’s manipulated the people close to you into bullying you too! Its unforgiveable. Id go through your solicitior because it is a form of abuse he has obviously traumatised you and sounds like its not the first time. Solicitor is best because you wont give him any of your energy keep it neutral that way youll show him and your kids plus family your taking control back and not willing to be subjected to this anymore. Its so unhealthy for us isn’t it? My exs mother was worse than him and his sister, they even tried to recruit my dad! Bullies need back up because theyre the weak ones at the end of the day. Take care xx

[NewWings]

You are both spot on. They back each other up no matter what. What I find interesting was my mother in law got into religion in a big way. I remember one hateful Christmas when my father in law tried to bully his grandson into eating his veg it went on and on. Neither his father or my mother in law tried to step in and divert my father in law. (Detail removed by Moderator) after my ex left I was pulled in to see senior management I was accused of pushing a teenager. There were no witnesses(Detail removed by Moderator). Later I discovered the boy in question lived beside (Detail removed by Moderator). So it’s a family of abusers. My mother in law used to wait table on Christmas Day not even after we had all been served would she sit down with us for her Christmas lunch. My husband didn’t think this was strange. I am going to see my solicitor asap and get this down on record. Men like that don’t deserve a partner, and even that is the wrong name as it implies equality. Both of them do as they please because they’re men ha and they are the bosses. Is it any wonder there is still slavery in the world. Thanks again and a peaceful weekend to both of you. Xx

[Anonymous]

It took ages for me to realise it’s a family thing in my case and yours by the sound of it I suppose that’s who they learn from! I remember my ex mother Inlaw saying at her wedding her husband through the table I the air,smashed the cake then made her take the bus home! His side tried to black mail my family and my dad is quite frail. Anyway. Enjoy your weekend too xx and keep your head held high x

[fizzylem]

Oh Newwings, this sounds dreadful, so sorry to read you all went through this. I think it might be helpful for the police to take a statement off you and your boys, there should be a police domestic abuse department you could call and speak to for advice. This might be a good way to show your boys that this behaviour is unacceptable too. You could use this incident as evidence of the abuse. Hugs x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Newwings, jyst a wee message if sipport and to see if you’re doing okay after your ordeal. Hope it didn’t spoil your time with your child.
💕💕

[NewWings]

Hi thank you for your support. As I said I can take it, but for my sons to see both their uncle and father indulging in this behaviour is to me unforgivable. Bullying is bullying there is no excuse. But as is so common I was the one who was blamed by my ex for bullying him! They repeat their lies so often they get believed. I was given the option of having him at my treatment meeting, I decided yes and it was traumatic but the team saw him for who he was. He behaved abominably no filter at all and lied his head off. The comment of one of the team was poison pure poison. So now those who are supporting me realise I have been dealing with a seriously disordered individual. I wish my family could have seen it. Last night I spoke to my son who was very low and shaky he is the more sensitive of the two. He was apologising for being a poor son and said he had self loathing. Where does this come from I wonder. I wish I could scare my ex the way he has terrorised me and my sons. I’ve made my mind up I will be leaving once the divorce is through and he will not know my address. Keep strong having got this far we can thrive too.

[Anonymous]

Hi, New wings. Don’t worry about scaring your ex concentrate now on getting you and your kids away from him. Although even this wont hurt him because these men just don’t have the same feeling we do. Its just not in them. I had all of this nonsense too and that’s what it is on their part. Its just not called for and itscrazy making behaviour. Its the kids that suffer, they get really confused and it evokes anxiety. Try to keep him and his family as far away as possible. It can be done I promise x if my ex or exmother inlaw passed me on the street I wouldn’t even acknowledge them xx

[Author]

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