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I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t find your experience with WA very helpful:(
Maybe try reaching out again? Was it the helpline or a centre that you reached out to?
I have found my case worker so supportive that I have met with in a centre.
My partner never physically hit me, he would threaten to and would hit inanimate objects and would always emotionally/verbally abuse me. I have felt that they understand this, and have shown me that even things I’ve downplayed have actually been him being abusive and controlling.
Please don’t let this experience put you off. Try reaching out again as their support will be invaluable to you in the long run -
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Well I just called my local one really… I really wanted to go in and talk to someone but she just kept asking me what I want them to do? Well I wasn’t sure as I don’t know what is available to help me ??? She told me to down load a molestation order form but again didn’t know where to start she emailed me certain courses to go on but thats about it
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Hi, that doesn’t sound very helpful. I wasn’t thinking at all because my brain was full of trauma and I couldn’t understand anything. Couldn’t even take in the first paragraph of a book. I would read and re read and it wouldn’t sink in. Perhaps if you rang back and said you’re really struggling and need help with non molestation order and need someone to sit down and slowly explain what is available to assist you. You could always email them. I’ve 99 percent found them helpful but one lady really upset me by telling me I was just jealous because my ex, who was arrested, was seeing a younger woman. As if I needed my nose rubbed in it by her as well as him. So they’re not perfect, nobody is. Sometimes we just have to keep going back until we get the help we need so please keep reaching out x
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Although Women’s Aid in general have helped me, both my local Women’s Aid where I live now and the one in the area where I was in a refuge were really unhelpful. I’ve called them in tears begging them to help me so many times but they refused to offer me any support and told me to come back to them if my ex assaults me again. I eventually just gave up asking for support from them. With me they seemed to take all types of abuse seriously, but didn’t seem to want to help me unless I had kids or was on benefits. They seemed to think that just because I had some savings that I didn’t need any support, which wasn’t true. I’m now signed up for a support group run by a different charity (although I had to pay for it and they wouldn’t offer any other support). Are there any other organisations that you could contact instead? Or maybe call the helpline to see if they can give you any information? x
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Don’t give up, there are people that will help you, some services are just better than others. Whenever I’ve called the helpline I’ve found it really helpful, people on here always have good advice as well. Or maybe if you try calling your local Women’s Aid again you might be able to speak to someone else who might be more helpful? xx
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I some times asked for the manager to put anything in writing for me. I think WA are very stretched and have to prioritise which must be so hard for them too. Money needs to go in the right places 🌈 don’t give up 9 times out of ten WA support is so amazing I couldn’t have broken free without them xx I know that – keep going and keep asking for help we all hit brick walls along the way secret is get back up and never stop fighting till you achieve your goal xx
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I use the samaritians sometimes and they’ve always been helpful it’s a free ear when you need it – invaluable, gives me somewhere to ‘outpour’ and work out what needs to happen next. I have a team of support nowadays after years of his nonsense, from the women on here, the WA helpline, my support worker at the local charity, solicitor, therapist, GP, health coach at one time for a bit, yoga class, meditation and prayer group, CMA, family, friends who get it, friends who don’t – I dont talk about it very often to these friends so they help in other ways, as a distraction, remind me what a normal life is and give me the space to half feel this for a short time, I’m not religious but I even met with the vicar a few times and he was brilliant.
Whatever you need help with there are different people to contact, so if you are feeling unable to cope or emotional, samaritians, WA helpline, women on here, friends or family.
Trauma, making sense – therapy, courses, books, net, women on here.
Legal matters, reading up on your rights, his rights, the child’s, the law, solictor, rights for women, police.
Self care…
Practical help with day to day stuff…
– you get the picture?
There is no one person, one support worker that can give us what we need – a big part of this is working out what do I need now, at the moment or next, and who can help me with this aspect, step at a time.
Don’t ever give up LLB, keep going, because this is the answer, when we dont know what to do, take time out when you need to for sure, then pick up what needs doing when you are ready again – you need a team, a network and to shape your own support – one day at time – and this will grow and develop into what it is you need x
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Hi there Louloubee, I am so sorry to hear that you didn’t get the support you needed when you made contact with your local domestic abuse service. I wanted to reiterate what the other users have already said, you really do deserve some support.
You can contact a Support Worker from Women’s Aid via our live chat where you can chat in confidence about your situation. Support workers can give support, practical information, and discuss with you any options that are available based on your specific circumstances. For more information about the chat service take a look at: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/
Best wishes
Lisa
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