Dirty John (Netflix)

[LozzyX]

A colleague at work , one of just two people close to me who I have confided in , told me about this new series on Netflix. Based on a true story it’s about a man who has learned to be abusive and manipulative from his father , and uses these skills to feed his opiate addiction

I have one final episode to watch .. and just wanted to share here as may resonate with many of us , it has had a profound effect on me … More so than when I first started discovering similar traits between my partner and others on here or from reading living with dominator , or the cycle of violence. I guess watching it on screen brings it all more to life, more real, more home hitting just how really sinister, manipulative and pre meditated the abuse is.

Just a warning, it may be too distressing for you to watch .. if easily triggered … Or managed to escape and do not want reminders .. then perhaps this is not for you. It was, however , a real wake up call for me, even though it has added to my fear of my situation it has reminded me the calm times do not last and I still need to continue with my plans to escape

[Apricotpoppy]

Hi Lozzy,
You are right you definitely have to be warned before watching this series as it covers domestic abuse and homicide.
The material is very disturbing and has played on my mind too much, it truly resonated and there were just too many hours of negativity for me.
It might be useful to help women and their loved ones to recognise red flags and get out. The red flags were all there and the gradual descent into the nightmare and the challenges to getting out.
It also contrasts the loving, romantic, empathetic women with the more questioning suspicious women that we all need to tap into so that we can see the signs.
It triggered a lot of memories and anxiety for me. Once started I felt compelled to keep watching but I wouldn’t recommend it as I it scared me about the present, and I need to be spending time focusing on positive healing.

[Apricotpoppy]

I hope you can get out soon x

[Anabela]

While I was still in abusive relationship I was constantly watching and reading these types of things. Any short movie I could find on domestic violence on youtube, any novel related to abuse that I could get my hands on. I think I needed that kind of material to realize how serious my situation was and how much I needed to get out. And to motivate myself to get out. I remember when I read novel “run mummy run” I was hiding this book in sealed envelope inside my bag so that he would not come across it and binned it in the coffee shop when I finished it thinking this was a ticking bomb. When I left and was still missing him or that cycle when after bad periods come good ones I was listening to Eminem non stop (never been his fan before).
Now, I am starting to avoid these types of movies and books as they do start to trigger.
But I imagine it can be a good wake up call for someone 🙂

[Iwantmeback]

Hi LozzyX , I watched it last week, was aghast at ‘John’, he was some piece of work. I was afraid to post id watched it as i thought it would upset so many of us, but desperately wanted to talk about it too. How these men live and work amongst us, it’s truly terrifying. How he had so many writs against him, yet managed to slip through the net most times truly, truly disturbing. I’m glad it ended the way it did, won’t go into details in case anyone else watches it.
IWMB 💕💕

[LozzyX]

Yes it has perhaps affected me more than I care to admit. I had a mild panic attack on the train tonight partly because the train was overcrowded but that combined with just thinking about John… All of it really is too close to home… My husband is also a drug.addict, (detail removed by moderator) and I have seen him in the comatosed state.. the messaging other women … The bull Sxxx stories he tells them for attention- some very extreme … And the constant illnesses forcing all of our attention on him constantly and preventing us doing so much in life …

I’ve forced myself to live in a bubble for past few months after I felt he had done the worst he could… Of course he has since been on best behaviour …but watching dirty John has bought it all flooding back and it’s so so scary

[Author]

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