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Hi
Husband is disabled and has extreme (detail removed by moderator). He says i trigger and abuse him daily by annoying him, but the problem is everything annoys him. I’m quite or nosy breathing falling asleep. He starts arguments and everything is my fault.
I don’t know what to do? I can’t go out as he wants me too as he needs me and when I try he calls me after 5 mins.
I feel trapped. When shouting at me. I can’t stay quiet as makes me stupid. Can’t shout back as makes me abusive. I talk normally as condescending. I can’t go in other room as told I’m ignoring hopefully you get the picture
I know I’m not Prefect for example the flat is really messy but again I get shouted at for cleaning and making noise but if I leave it I’m lazy. I just can’t win. He says I’m at fault but I no longer know what to think.
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It sounds like he treats you like unpaid staff. Except that, actually, staff probably wouldn’t put up with being talked to like that.
Where are your rights in this relationship.
You don’t have to be perfect, (he certainly isn’t from what you say.) But making us feel like there’s always something ‘wrong’ with us seems to be the number one way of keeping us trapped.
It sounds like you have very many good qualities.
The abuse leaves us feeling confused and exhausted. It’s very difficult to see a way out. It can take time.
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