Do you ever get over it?

[sunshineLollypops]

I’m (number removed by Moderator) years out.  Haven’t been able to date very low self esteem and just struggled really.

I haven’t fancied anyone at all since we split, the awful things he said about me and my body linger in my head.

Just recently met someone abroad, flew out to meet him and had the best time.  Lots of Kindness and affection. said nice things to me.  Nothing forced and constantly checked with me that I wanted to do what we were doing.

My ex on the other hand was cruel about my body, I wouldn’t want to have sex with him but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I used to lie about being on my period and he would make me show him proof or force me.

Ex partner had the kids and on my return called me a s**g, a fat f**k and the only reason someone who be interested in me is for a visa.  I didn’t say Id gone abroad to meet someone but I think I came back glowing!  I’ve since blocked him and decided no contact from now on.

since I’ve come back I can’t stop crying, crying for this man abroad who I want but don’t think it will work. Too many barriers and I have children.

Crying for the way my ex treated me.

Crying because I want to be desired and held and loved.

Why can’t I just move on?

[Lisa]

Hi sunshineLollypops,

Thank you for sharing with us. I am sorry to hear how your ex-partner has behaved towards you. It sounds very distressing for you and understandably you are feeling a range of emotions after being treated kindly to then return to abuse from your ex-partner. You deserve to be treated with care and respect.

You might find Bloom helpful. They offer free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries. You can find details here.

Keep posting when you can.

Take care,

Lisa

[StrongLife]

Sorry for the way your ex treated you. I too got a load of abuse when swapping kids over and decided to go no contact. You have done the best you could and gotten him out of your life.

There are others out there, maybe not now but into the future. Being hesitant about future relationships is part of this. I am glad you went and checked out the guy , even if you were not ready.

 

Good on you for getting out of that abusive relationship. It can be extremely difficult if you have kids

[Author]

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