Doctors

[Newgirl]

Hey all x hope we are all doing ok x so today I went to see doctors but some of their advice actually scarred me they want me to check in daily with someone who can raise an alarm if I don’t reply Due to a certain behaviour I don’t think that will happen as he has never been violent it’s all mind games etc but they must have seen a red flag I’m not quite sure how to process this information I’m sure I will in time
Thanks for listening

[Twisted Sister]

Hey Newgirl

I can understand you fear of what seems very controlling and a lot of pressure. I have not heard of this before, and of course with a perp it can be extrememly difficult to ‘check in’. Its the perp they should be checking on and pursuing this way!

Perhaps you can call someone to discuss the issues with you doing this? Do you have contact with a local DA service? They could advocate for you and make this call on your behalf to explain the situation to them.

I am not surprised you are feeling scared, but if you try to take back some control by calling, this could help you immensely.

warmest wishes

ts

[Newgirl]

Thank you so much for your reply I have a colleague who I can check in with but I’m not doing it daily that’s extreme x I don’t think he would do what they say but apparently standing in the room not talking could be dangerous it’s hard isn’t it I just want to get strong enough to get out of here

[Twisted Sister]

yes, its hard, very hard, and it takes as long as it takes for you x Its a huge leap to take and one you take when you are ready. Trust your gut feeling in your dealings with him, listen to yourself and prioritise your safety and wellbeing. I don’t know what they are seeing, maybe ask for more information about this decision so you can understand what it is they mean.

warmest wishes

ts

[nbumblebee]

Firstly wow well done for finding the courage to talk to a doctor.
Maybe they just want you to be safe in vase he does turn violent, its a good idea to line all your ducks in a row be prepared.for the worst have a bag packed ready, like they said have aomeone you can check in with its all about keeping yourself safe and prepared I guess.
I could be wrong but its just another way to interpret what they have said.
It is scarey all of this is whwn your eyes are opened to what they do what they say the world becomes a really frightening place but the more you leaen the more you grow the stronger you will become.
Stay safe sweetie, stay safe xxxxx

[Newgirl]

Thank you so much for your kind words they really help x x I totally agree with what you have said it is a frightening place and I know they have seen all examples of this so maybe they are going to the extreme as I guess you just never know x this forum is really helping me learn and hopefully grow it’s awful that we all have to go through this but it’s so lovely to have a safe place and support x

[Easter]

It’s understandable it is a big thing to process (the strategy would feel like a shock) and it will take a few sleeps for it to settle. It’s really tricky to not keep trying to figure out why specifically they want to see you are okay daily… My doctor said “We’ll never know now,” when I disclosed, so I am actually amazed yours seen to be trying to ensure your safety. I wonder if he is scary, you could encourage him to stay elsewhere, this is what I did, but it is not once size fits all and so might be inappropriate to your thing. Best with it

[Newgirl]

Thank you Easter I am sorry about your doctors response x it is starting to sink in and I have people that I can check in maybe not daily but every few days I think it’s the fact he is a heavy drinker and these incidents happen under the influence of drink

[Easter]

Hi newgirl,
That’s really concerning the drink thing as know that can really make their behaviour worse. I hope you can be without this ‘noise’ in your life, it’s extremely difficult. I got him to leave my house and I am really glad to not encounter that coming home drunk and wanting an argument thing anymore… that would be a personal wish for you that you in turn do not encounter that. His life is not more important than yours… how you are each day should not be in response to how he is each day. You should just be okay and in a position to manage your own stuff… not having to be careful. Good luck.

[Newgirl]

Thank you x x x unfortunately it’s his house but I’ve made the choice in my head I need out so now it’s the next step in doing it x my kids always wondered why I didn’t drink but now they know as they not little anymore. I know that one day I will be out and be at peace and that’s what keeps me going x

[Author]

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