Don’t believe myself

[Anonymous]

I know what he did to my body. Its not something I’m ever going to forget.

However, I am absolutely terrified of his anger. It feels really stupid to still be feeling naughty when I’m nearly (age removed by moderator).

I’m sure he can’t do anything to me now, but knowing I’ve made him angry scares me so much. I was even shaking at work today.

I try to tell myself I’m making the fear up, butI feel really confused. I’m trying to tell myself I have no reason to be scared, but then I wonder why I am.

[dustypink]

The are never angry, they can control themselves perfectly. They are abusing us to keep under control and to make us feel scared. This is what they need. It’s a game for them, pushing our buttons to get the reaction they need. Fear makes us weak.
It takes time to understand your own reactions and to change them, but you should try 🙂

[KIP.]

It’s trauma. The body retains the trauma of past events until we deal with them with counselling. I was scared for years. It even took a couple of years to stop fearing retribution for moving things round the house. I still wake up with frights.

[Anonymous]

I’d stopped being afraid snd I am again now. I want to do some counselling but I’m worried that I will reveal things I feel safer keeping hidden.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi numpty, is there an anniversary due soon. Sometimes that can unconsciously trigger these feelings.
I think once I’m away from my oh I won’t do counselling. I think I’ll be able to deal with and process what happened on my own. But never say never. Have you thought of doing the freedom course? I’ve read that a few ladies have completed it, with good results.
💕💕

[Anonymous]

Christmas is always a bad anniversary. But this time things have been made worse by the fact that I am still suffering from what he did to me.
This, together with my b****y stupid determination to say no to him about things I feel I should say no about.

[KIP.]

Abuse thrives on silence. Can you ring the helpline number on here and speak to someone in confidence. Lovely ladies that won’t judge you or try to make you do anything you don’t want to. Who will just help you understand what’s happening to you. It’s not your fault x

[Author]

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