- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 day, 12 hours ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Divorced (number removed by Moderator) years ago after (number removed by Moderator) year separated, now living a few minutes from each other to try help with logistics with kids. Have teenage kids, one is (age removed by Moderator) and other (age removed by Moderator). We have been trying to split time 50/50 and it’s worked to a degree but he’s just increasingly abusive towards kids and I feel so helpless not being able to protect them.
He shouts and says horrible things at them for whatever reason, saying they are being disrespectful and blames me for “ruining” them. Youngest was more appeasing before but now challenges his lies and just hates being there. It was the same with eldest but she’s done some therapy and learned some tools to manage it, and only goes to his still to be with youngest there. It then escalates quickly and he starts removing phones, videogame etc and not allowing them to answer me. He says doesn’t want anyone there who doesn’t want to be there, but threatens and abuses them to pressure them into going. If he finds out I did anything nice with them, or if I’m out myself when they are at his, he’ll flip even more. He’s lonely, hates living in the UK, resents me for moving here and for causing all this for separating… He has no friends, family here, is struggling for money, keeps asking me for help…
His (relative removed by Moderator) was abusive (removed by Moderator) born from his trauma and loveless upbringing, but he doesn’t acknowledge his part in why everyone is leaving him and doesn’t seek help. Everyone is wrong, he only speaks to me to swear and blame me.
My kids are so good, polite, do well in school, have good friends… but are teens and obviously will be challenging sometimes, but I don’t get upset, whereas he sees everything as an afront. He wants kids to be there to make him happy, help him clean the house… I want to make them happy, and chores are negotiated nicely… I want them to just stop going there but worry he’ll do something bad, I don’t know.
What’s the solution here?! I don’t know, I still whenever he calls try to be nice, never tell him “the truth” as he won’t listen and deflect, just fuel more anger…
I can’t leave my house when kids are at his as something may kick off and I need to be close by in case kids need me… I hate that I’m still trapped in this and that I cannot save my kids from it. I worry he’s already caused too much emotional damage on them, they can see through his lies and sickness and are just fed up!
Any ideas please on what I can do?!
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
