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I’d be a tiny bit hopeful myself but I’d be also very wary and terrified of getting pulled back into something that I have fought for SO long and SO hard to escape.
How about reading over your posts here from the past and see if you find some clarity there about making contact or not with him? And what it might bring – closure or something else ?
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Do you really want to? I mean, is he someone that will really add much to your life? Do you really want him as a friend? Or are you just feeling a bit guilty, like you ought to talk to him as he’s worked hard on giving up alcohol.
I was just remembering the section in the ‘Why Does he Do That’ book where he talks about the fact that giving up the drugs or booze or whatever doesn’t change the behaviour around abuse.
Has he done all the perpetrator programmes and courses to deal with his abusiveness? Maybe you could talk to the course leader and get an assessment of how he has responded to the programme?
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My ex was an alcoholic and got sober because I left him. I went back and even though he stayed sober (although who knows really) his abuse got worse. I think these guys are entitled and that they never change. And even if they attend courses or support groups, It’s for their own purposes – to create an image of how wonderful they are, to impress people and on and on. I don’t think I’d ever get genuine remorse or even acknowledgement of the harm he did me so I wouldn’t get back in contact.
Glad you don’t feel guilty anymore.
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