Dreading going home

[Sunsetluv]

I’m not even home yet from work and I’m dreading going home, he’s now blaming me for something that happened in the house. I didn’t think it was a big issue, but I guess everything’s always my fault.

The other weekend he accused me of making a fool of him when I wasn’t, then proceeded to call me a (insult removed by Moderator) because I used to work (job removed by Moderator).

I can never do anything right, I get accused of looking at men when I don’t, then get called an idiot and he says to me to grow up then does the same back. I don’t look at anyone. I’m sick of not being able to be myself! And he acts like he’s perfect. He sent me a text the other day stating he just comments on women’s actions and that I can do anything I want.
I could see straight through his tactic, having that message on my phone acting like he doesn’t care.

I’m always the one in the wrong, that I’m now questioning if I’m a bad person and I hate myself. I wish I had someone else’s personality and not my own. I always walk with my head down, and even find myself when I’m walking myself not looking at any person that goes

[Sunsetluv]

Continued… anyone that goes by I don’t look at. I’m honestly so fed up being me.

I feel like I’m the problem, he also said to me other people must be doing something right to get married. I feel like I can’t do anything right to feel wanted and enough for someone.

He also calls me names and Denys them, he’s called me (insult removed by Moderator) and doesn’t realise how much of an effect that has on me and how it makes me feel about my body. Before of surgery at a young age of (age removed by Moderator) now (age removed by Moderator). My body has been affected, yet he can’t see how that makes me feel. I feel awful about my body, that I’m not good enough.

i worry no one will believe me because he’s so good at manipulating things.

i neglect myself. I just feel like I’m miserable and not fun to be around anymore that I do think sometimes life would be better without me around. Id be at peace finally, and not struggling everyday with my mental health.

I’m tired of being me.

[Cherries]

All of this is awful. And its understandable you wouldn’t want to go home to it…but a little food for thought?

IF you were truly this bad. Whatever he says you are. Then WHY is he with you?

They put you down, so you find it difficult to leave them. A person with destroyed confidence, with no belief in themselves is going nowhere.

He’s insecure, whether he admits it or not. When they know you’re too good for them, this is what they do to keep you…if they have the mindset of an abuser, anyway.

I also understand how tired you are. But the world is a better place with you in it. If you’re feeling like that, you really need support, and to start considering your future without this in your life. Its hard when you think you won’t be believed. I wasn’t, years ago. And I did it anyway. Never regretted it even for a second.

What he’s doing is not right. Its not loving, and you deserve better than that x

[EvenSerpentsShine]

Agree with Cherries.

This is the stuff that grinds us down and hollows us out over the years, until one day we wonder where the hell the person we used to be went.
❤️

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