Dreams

[Newbeginnings1234]

I wasn’t sure whether to post anything about this or not, but I wanted to see whether anyone else has experienced the same thing as right now I just feel like there’s something wrong with me. Since I left my Husband I’ve been having dreams involving sleeping with him, which makes me feel absolutely disgusting when I wake up. In the dreams it’s always consensual (although it usually wasn’t in real life). I have other dreams about him as well, some worse than others, but they always leave me feeling kind of ‘off’ all day. I’m wondering if it’s my brains’ way of trying to stop me from having nightmares about him raping me? (I’ve had a couple of dreams about it, but for some reason it was a stranger, not my Husband, and I woke up feeling so anxious and dizzy that I couldn’t get out of bed for a couple of hours). Another dream I had, he was chasing me but he was singing the whole time, that also felt like my brain was trying to make it less scary. Has anyone else experienced similar dreams before? I just feel so disgusting as I would never want to sleep with him, or anyone else, in real life (in fact he used to constantly complain that I would ‘freak out’ whenever he touched me and he would tell me that there must be something wrong with me and I should go to the doctors about it). I feel like I’m the only person that feels this way and there must be something wrong with me.

[diymum@1]

Dreams are your mind processing your trauma in your subconscious. I bet most women have had similar dreams. In my dreams he was always cornering me or catching me hiding from him. It felt real and like you when I woke it still felt like it had happened. I guess it had in reality. With time these dreams should fade and you won’t have many at all. It’s definitely natural. I always feel dreams can progress to get better too. Eventually my last dream was off him being very far away from me and I felt disconnected from him xx hope this helps that’s my experience anyway 😘

[Newbeginnings1234]

Thanks, it’s been quite a long time since I left and I thought it would have stopped by now, I dream about him nearly every night. Sometimes they’re just normal dreams and he just happens to be there, but sometimes they’re dreams where I bump into him when I’m not expecting it, or I’ve got back together with him and I want to leave but I can’t. I’ve also had dreams where he’s chasing me or breaking into my flat but it’s been a couple of months since the last one. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel like I’ve dreamt about him but I can’t remember the actual dream. It’s like my brain hasn’t realised that we’re not together anymore. Hopefully they’ll stop soon x

[diymum@1]

I was the same in the dreams at first I was still stuck with him lol then as time went by my subconscious new he was long gone in my dreams. Sometimes I will be honest coming on the forum gives me reminders that we’re long forgotten. I do dream I get court papers a lot! It’s good to know when we wake this is no longer our reality. I feel it’s your minds way with off convincing us this torment is over in reality xx that’s what I think 🤔 xx

[Aliceinwonderland]

Hi New beginnings 1234,
I had a similar kind of thing happen a while after he left. Sometimes nightmares sometimes odd dreams. It was weird because I had insomnia and dreamt very little whilst in the relationship with him. He used to set alarms off hourly to keep me awake and do odd control games all the time…
My therapist advised me to write them down as they are a way of processing your thoughts and feelings… I also googled dream interpretations and found it quite helpful… sex/ rape in dreams is often not a direct meaning it can be that you are processing thoughts or feeling about power or control. I found it helpful to read interpretations and it helped me understand my own feelings more….
Being in an abusive relationship is hell but for for me it became normal and it has taken a long time for me to process the trauma and many if the things that actually happened in the relationship… I still have a long way to go… I still have nightmares and wake up panicking and they can put me in a mental wobble for days…
Just try to be kind to yourself x

[Newbeginnings1234]

Thanks, my Husband also used to wake me up all the time and the insomnia started when we were still together but got worse after I left. It seems to be getting worse rather than better. I think control is definitely a main theme in my dreams, as I also have other dreams where I’m in situations that I have no control over (plane crashes, car crashes, being trapped on a sinking boat etc). I hadn’t thought about writing them down, maybe that might help me to see a pattern. I’m glad you’re starting to be able to process everything and hopefully the nightmares will stop eventually x

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