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I moved quickly out of my toxic, abusive relationship into a new one. It’s long distance with someone I’ve known for years and there are ups and downs from me mostly. I’m working through a lot, obvs, and he’s just kind, patient and caring. In the last few weeks I’ve articulated new boundaries in intimacy and other things that I would or would not like to do in my future. And it’s been tough articulating myself. Literally. I now stammer and stutter when I speak about tough things, he waits and encourages me. The conversation happens. And the only scary thing about it is the anticipation, because of my history and what I’ve come from. I feared big topics. And when I spoke my wishes, it was almost like they were used against me. Now I’m thanked for bringing something up, especially if it’s a hard topic, for us both. So we can both work, figure it out and continue together. This relationship is just so soft and kind and considerate.
It’s like before I was on a steep mountain and I was always unsure if my next step might cause me to slip and fall. I was always wary of my next step, and then ones I’d just take and anxious of where the cliff edge was. And now I’m in a field, I’ll still experience every kind of weather and season, but it’s good going. I can see the horizon. I can pick my destination. Being long distance has also really helped me have to communicate better, and given me the space to discover myself, and what I would like. I’ve been reading a book about setting boundaries and that’s also been really great in help structure panic thought spirals for me. This is just a rambly post accomplishing nothing, but it’s nice to talk about even the little wins.
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So happy for you. You definitely deserve that peace. Enjoy it and take care.
Do you mind me asking the name of the book you are reading? I could do with that for sure.
x*x
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Yeah it’s boundaries in dating by Cloud and Townsend. It’s a little religious in some parts for me. But I’ve never asserted boundaries while I’m dating but as they say in the book creating boundaries can apply for any type of relationship yyou have. I think there may be purity culture bits to come. But the base writing is appealing so far. I don’t want to actively recommend it, because I may not finish it, but I’m enjoying it so far. 😂
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