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You can see in his face when it’s first thing he needs weed. Then he’s much much nicer.
He’s not getting along with our (detail removed by Moderator), I guess hormones are beginning to kick in and husband only likes kids when they’re cute and do what daddy says!
He can’t cope with problems and he’s in trouble with police, minor thing but he’s not admitting he’s done wrong. He has but I have to pretend and go along with him.
We’ve an (detail removed by Moderator) needs vets I’ve no spare finances and he’s got enough she needs to go but he’s being awkward and u can tell he could turn on us for pushing for it.
Things are better than they were but by no means normal. Treading on eggshells again.
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My ex smoked weed daily for all his adult life . Refused to accept her was addicted – he’d say he was self medicating because I made his life so miserable.
We’d never be able to relax until he’d had his first joint, until then it was Eggshells.i remember the anxiety so clearly.
He also started to turn on the kids once they were old enough to see what he was up to, especially our (detail removed by Moderator). He was constantly on st him, disappointed with whatever he did. Couldt see just being a teenager.
It’s tough living in that environment. x -
Hi tiredofitall, Pretty much same story here, except he swaps addictions or goes cold turkey for a while. Presently back to relying on weed and drinking 3-4 cans a night.
Wakes up and he’s depressed it’s so hard dealing with his negativity. He hates the neighbours, moans that the house needs tidying again (I’ve begged him not to mention it as it is a trigger he’s been very nasty in the past about it all) he’s miserable.
I try to be nice, I have more recent years distanced myself from him when he’s like this, but have tried to support him with kindness but it works for a short time until I’m the target of his frustration. Today I’m in between and wonder if I will ever have that kindness in me again.
Reading a book at the moment which explains how we are conditioned through our lives to conform or perform in a way that meets others needs and suppresses our true selves, our ability, our creativity, how we socialise, parent, care for others, love ourselves and general existence.
It definitely applies to any of us in toxic or abusive relationships or situations.
I’m keeping my distance today and on guard for the kids until he’s had a smoke which he can’t as he’s visiting relatives first. What an existence.
CB x
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Mines been all smiles all weekend, a peaceful weekend. Kids have returned to where they live and bam…. Straight away his mood has changed and it’s all because he can’t get weed. Anyone who says this is a harmless substance has no idea.
Now I’m in for days and days of silent treatment because I refuse to pay for it. I hate this stuff and I hate how he has played the doting dad all weekend and now I get to have an awful time.
It’s eggshells on walking eggshells.-
Hi happybelle
It’s same here but do you feel he’s not really with you, if he’s stoned?
Mines d***y, nicer (still can be nasty but less tendency to be) but he’s clumsy but gets on with tidying up but even that he controls when he tidies, how it’s done and gets cross if I tell him not to tidy up a certain area. I am messy being honest.
It’s sometimes fun when he’s stoned we have a laugh but in between like you say, no fun just a depressed person.
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I felt like my whole existence revolved around weed because it affected his moods so much. Every timing of going anywhere I had to factor in time for him to have a smoke first otherwise he’d be in a hell of a mood. I’d wait to come home if I didn’t think he’d had time to have one before I got there. I hated it. But I also preferred who he was after he smoked because he was a nice guy then. A pretty messed up situation and just c**p to live with.
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Bananaboat – 100% yes!!! The holidays that were ruined because it was too busy that he couldn’t smoke. He wouldn’t just do it because he cared what strangers thought and he didnt want to be judged but was quite happy to c**p all over us and spoil our day because he couldn’t smoke BUT he would never admit it. He wold always say it was me creating drama because I was expecting him to be moody!
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It is awful isn’t it. I despise the idea that someone has to take something to become a decent person rather than deal with what issues they need to face up to and get the professional help that they need.
I don’t want to finish work and wonder what kind of evening I’m going to have …. pleasant (if I pay for it no questions asked) or dreadful where I don’t pay for it or I’m shouted at until I give in. In which case I spend my evenings alone or at least in silence. Absolutely pointless and soul destroying.
I’m taking some big steps this week for myself which is a bit scary. My friends are excited for me and I should be too but I’m not. Just taking one step in front of the other to stop myself going mad or having a complete breakdown. -
I know people who smoke and they all think I’m wrong for saying it’s a nasty drug, and I think maybe some are ok with an occasional smoke but, this is something else. I accidentally found a video on my phone in the background you can hear us, he’s angry as he’s not had a rest since work, we at the time have (detail removed by Moderator), he tells me to stop backchatting and I should go do whatever myself he should rest, he’s so mean I say it’s because he’s been smoking/drinking. It actually gave me a panic attack listening to us talking this way.
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That’s awful and I know where you’re coming from with the panic attack thing. I don’t think I’ve ever had one, but I have noticed the points where my heart rate starts going up. Pay day is my worst trigger point because I know I have money and it’s when the shouting at me to get some of it really starts.
He’s a horrible, depressed and pathetic person without it and this is the person that needs the professional help. When he’s had some he’s a different person. The Jekyll and Hyde is exhausting.
I’m on step 2 of my 10 point moving away plan so I’m on my way out the door now already 🙂
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