Embarassed

[Lightning-Jet]

Does anyone else ever feel embarrassed about their partner? About the things they say? Not making an effort with their appearance even on special occasions? Having a manual job but bathing maybe twice a week & just always looking dirty?
If my family are beginning to comment on the state of him & the example he is setting to my child (his step child), how do I even begin to deal with it when anything I say causes the biggest backlash?
Calling my child names – is this purely to get a reaction? He knows how I feel about it, but he just shrugs it off and says my child doesn’t mind?
Doing nothing but drink & then becoming verbally abusive? Showing off when other people are around?
I should have enjoyed my mother’s day but felt like I wasn’t allowed to.
I just feel exhausted.

[Lisa]

Hi Lightening-Jet,

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling and how you felt you could not enjoy Mother’s Day. Dealing with an abusive partner is an emotional rollercoaster so it is no surprise you are feeling exhausted. Do you have support in place at the moment?

Please do consider calling the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247) if you feel talking to a Helpline Worker would help. They won’t judge you or tell you what to do, they will just listen if that is what you need. They can also discuss your options based on your circumstances.

Keep posting when you can, it can really help to offload your thoughts on here.

Take care,

Lisa

[Lightning-Jet]

Hi Lisa,

It really is such an emotional rollercoaster. I feel on edge a lot of the time, like I am walking on eggshells. I am so mindful of what I say to try and limit the backlash from it.
He says he wants me to be honest with him, but being honest with him just makes him blow up. Basically I can’t do right for doing wrong.
I have support from my parents and work. I have been given local contact numbers as well by the helpline.
Hand on heart I know what I need to do, I shouldn’t have to live with the abuse and neither should my son. It’s going to be really difficult to know how to even start the ball rolling. Especially as I have been allowing things to be the way they are for a quiet life.

Thank you Lisa, it does really help posting on here

L-J

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