Emotional abuse

[Dededaisy]

Hello ladies,
It’s taken me a while to pluck up the Courage to write this. I feel as though I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for so long, I know longer can see reality. I’ve been called a w***e, a s**g, a b***h, all the insults under the sun. I’ve been accused of cheating several times despite not doing anything. I’ve been cheated on by him and told it was my fault. My identity has gone. I’m not allowed to use social media to share pictures of me and my friends without a black lash. I’m not allowed to go on a night out without facing a barrage of abuse. All the time, I can’t help thinking it’s me. I must be the problem. Does anyone else feel the same? I have been told to stop taking my antidepressants because It makes me a weak person. I’m literally feeling overwhelmed and as though I’m drowning. It’s massively destroyed me and ruined my confidence. Ladies, I feel as thought I just want to cry all the time. I don’t feel good enough. Does anyone have any tips that can help me get back to who I used to be? X

[Iwantmeback]

Yes,bluntly put, get him out of your life.until you do you will feel this way. It’s awful, like being old before your time and weighed down with everyone’s problems and nowhere to turn to.
Welcome to the forum, you’ve taken such a huge step in posting. It’s not your fault he cheated, it’s his. They’re very good at saying everything is our fault, if only we did this or that he wouldn’t do xyz. They do what they do because no ones told them it’s wrong when growing up, or it’s how adults behaved when he was growing up. No amount of loving him can ever be enough, they are literally emotional vampires. They will take everything from you and if you’re lucky walk away without a second thought,but if not they will have you at rock bottom where the only way out is suicide or fight back. Have you spoken to anyone at WA yet. If not please contact them, they can help organise a safe exit plan. Dont let him know anything that you are doing. If it was an ordinary relationship you’d be able to break it off easily, not so an abusive one. Dont stop taking your tablets,the side effects would be unbearable. My oh would have a go at me when I was on them,say they were making me behave badly, make me forget things. Yet years later when I no longer used them he’d go on about how I needed to see the doctor and Get something as my behaviour was erratic and I forgot everything he was asking me to do. The reason I forgot was he was gaslighting me, telling me he’d asked me to do things for him when in actual fact he hadn’t or he would mumble and mutter so quietly that I knew he’d said something but didn’t know what and if I asked him to repeat it he’d go in such a huff and accuse me of being deaf and stupid. Crying all the time is the body’s way of trying to heal us. It does usually work just not in abusive relationships.
Theres a good book we recommend to everyone called why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft, also living with the dominator by Pat Evans. Again well done for posting, keep doing so, get as much knowledge as you can to help you get away from him as safely as you can because when we’r decide to leave that can be the most dangerous time for us.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[lover of no contact]

Hi and welcome to the Forum. You’re definitely in the right place. Believe me you will get stronger if you keep reading the posts and posting as often as you need. Knowledge really is Power. Awareness and facing the reality of being in an intimate relationship with a sick personality is hard but we have to face it. We are all here for you:)

[Lisa]

Hi there Dededaisy, welcome to the forum. Well done for posting and sharing with us what has been happening, we know how much strength this can take.

As the others have already suggested, if you are not already in touch with your local domestic abuse service, you can find their details here They won’t tell you what to do, but they could help you to work through what feels right for you.

Recognising the abuse that you have experienced and being able to name it as abuse is a massive step, don’t underestimate that.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Bet wishes

Lisa

[Dededaisy]

Thank you so much ladies… I feel a lot better after listening to you and you’ve all really helped. For the first time, I know it’s going to get better. Every single man I’ve been with has undermined me- even my own father abandoned me when I was 8. My first boyfriend would hit me and control what I wore. I feel like I always pick the wrong ones and this is why it’s my problem. Thanks again, you will never know how grateful I am xx Going no contact will be hard. Thankfully, I don’t live with him, but the incessant calls, the abusive texts, the mind games, calling me a mental attention seeking beg will end

[Author]

Posts